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This is one of the coolest news stories that I’ve come across in a very long time.

This morning’s train ride felt like a quick one. I had the pleasure of sitting within 10 feet of an offbeat couple. I’ve seen them on the subway for years. They get on at my stop, they look to be about in their mid to late 50s, and I’m not quite sure if they are slightly retarded, partially brain damaged, or far too intelligent to appear normal. Each morning they sit side by side reading their own copy of a daily news paper, and have a conversation with each other about what they’re reading. The husband talks slow, but very loud, especially for 7:45am. The wife speaks with a high pitch nasally voice, with a side of little child voice in her. People that aren’t usually on the train with them hear them, and then get a look of shock and awe when they turn around to see who is making way too much noise, it’s great, and it’s one of those things that I can just keep watching over and over.

Then made the transfer to the express train, where I met up with my train-riding buddy. I finally got to point out the nonexistent couple to him; they are in their late 30s. The man has salt and pepper hair, and the woman is a gorgeous tanned. Between the two of them, there is no conversation. There could be any number of reasons why they choose not to speak to one another early in the morning, but it is still a little odd. I go under the assumption that they really, really don’t like one another. I had seen the woman on the subway a bunch of times before the man. That’s not to say that the man hadn’t been there all those other times, because he could have been, but it’s hard to even tell that they are together. If I hadn’t noticed a slight touch of the elbow one morning I’m not sure I would have noticed their being together. This morning was no exception; they stood next to each other and didn’t acknowledge the existence of the other.

No David Beckham to laugh at this morning, no guy that looks like the William Hung dude from American Idol, and no clique of women that I’ve been bewildered by. This clique of women has been especially enjoyable to watch. It consists of an overweight mother about age 40, a skinny blonde mother in her mid 30s, and the loudest person on any subway in the morning, which is a thin loud mouth young one in her mid 20s – all of them are Italian-American, and are from Brooklyn, the blonde being the quietest of the three. I need to eavesdrop in on their conversations more, from what I can tell they are making fun of people they know behind their backs and have been calling the 20 something names. Each morning at some point while riding over the Manhattan Bridge the young one screams out how she would have beat the crap out of someone, it’s basically “I would have fill in the blank & then fill in another blank & then insert either a man or woman’s name here”. Whenever she states her violent act a third of the car turns around in shock, and doesn’t say a word. Overall they are enjoyable to watch & listen to in the morning.

Then, when I transferred back to the F, I sat next to a good-looking woman with the worst looking feet on display in public ever. If for instance your second toe sticks up and out straight, almost as if your toe has transformed to be a middle finger flipping the bird at someone, like this ugly footed woman’s was, wear some type of socks, and keep everything within said socks within an enclosed shoe or sneaker, please. Even though they were gross feet, I couldn’t help but keep staring at her long exposed digits, and mumble to myself “disgusting”, and “gross”; this was all going on while sitting next to a used Q-tip on the other side of me. I can only hope that someone wasn’t looking at me as if I had a foot fetish, and was getting turned on by those feet. I’m sure that there is a blog somewhere stating disgust at what how some guy was staring at gross feet. Google search?

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Been bored here since the techie guy trying to fix two laptops needed for a web cast gave up and said, “they need to call 34th Street, I cannot fix it”. He left, and went out to the elevators, leaving me all alone on the 7th floor. I looked through a bunch of blogs on blogspot, and noticed many people are not appealing to read. I did happen across a few good ones. My favorite is evidiot. I found it odd that only one blog was rendered off limits to me at work. That being jessydelfino, and I’m not exactly sure why I cannot access it at work.

I want to be in my garden right now. I haven’t been out since Monday evening. I bet the strawberries have turned a deep red and are perfect to be picked now. Those strawberries have ruined store bought strawberries for me. The backyard strawberries are usually smaller than supermarket ones, but they have way more of a kick in the taste department. Sweet, sweet, sweet tastes.

My Shasta Daisy plants are blooming, and I imagine it would be best to deadhead them, this way more blooms arrive. I want to see how tall my Cactus Dahlia is from all the rain this week, and also what the foliage looks like. I planted the Cactus Dahlia bulb on the last day of May, and wasn’t sure if it would grow, or simply die out in the ground. I want to see the wild flowers that are blooming, how all my seedlings are doing, and how big my early bird tomatoes are now. There are more plants in the garden, but those are the ones I’d like to see.

I, of course want to weed too. The anal retentive person in me just feels better after I have pulled up any weed that I see, and it’s so much easier when the weeds are tiny.

If I didn’t have to go someplace to work, and had enough money to satisfy my needs to never have to work, I would own a modest home in the country somewhere, and have a big garden. One that sprawls out has only enough weeds that would let me feel like I accomplish something when weeding without being overburdened, a garden that you can play in, eat from, and lounge in. It would have a rancher style fence surrounding it, with yet another flower garden with a brick wall surrounding it. The brick walls would allow about an extra half-month to a month of growth, and blooms in the beginning and end of the season. Ah daydreams…

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Yesterdays experiment of seeing how much water I could drunk at work without feeling sick led me to drink eight cups of water, and draining the lizard six times. I think I will continue on this path of experimentation while at work, and I’ll post up any news of breaking my own records.

This morning I rode the train alone, my usual subway-riding buddy wasn’t on my train. Oh well. I got a seat at least, and it was right next to the lady we nicknamed David Beckham. She was awarded such the nickname last week when we noticed her sleeping, cane in hand, and hair up just like Mr. Beckham wears it. She’s no more than 40 years old, but looks like she could be at deaths door any day. Yet I still have the gawl to grant her a nickname, and laugh inside my head each time I see her.

I actually had “tasks” to do today when I got in. The first was to double-check my work from yesterday with fresh eyes, and it was perfect. The second thing was adding email addresses to a spreadsheet. The email addresses reflect how everyone who I work with that has a graduate degree cannot see things through a full process in one sitting. It is the about the 18th time they have decided that another column of information is necessary; but the best is when they ask for information in such a specific way, that after it is completed they realized they needed it some other way, which just made an hour of my life here inside a three walled cubicle feel like an even bigger waste.

My manager has germ-a-phobia. I first thought this my second week when I was suffering from a staph infection on my ears, neck and forehead. The boss asked what was wrong when I arrived from the doctor, when I told her the news she looked horrified (note that my ears oozing yuckiness didn’t phase her) to find out I had a staph infection and was on antibiotics. She screamed “don’t come near me or into my office all day!” I gladly stayed away, and have tried to just not be in the same room or side of the building as her since then. Anyways, this guy BB who I work with has a cold, and feels sick as a dog but can’t take a day off since his new portal site is launching today. Our boss warned him to stay as far away as possible, cause she knows he will get her sick; and this would not be good for the workaholic that she is. Imagine if she had to stay home one day and try not to work her usual 15 hours? What would she do with herself when the only thing she could use to get work done is her Black Berry. The horror!

I think avoiding my boss will be another little game I play inside my head. How little time can I be in her presence in one workday? She is usually in some meeting most of the day, and the time she is in her office is nauseating. I just get up and close her door, which she appreciates since she doesn’t want everyone in our section of the floor hearing her yell at everyone she speaks with on the phone. I appreciate it since it’s as if I’m shutting her out from my world. I wish I could do the same for the guy who has the office next to my boss. He is a loud stutterer. Mr. Stutterer has a Graduate Degree of course, and used to work as a lawyer, I kid you not. While he’s not nearly the most pretentious person on the floor, he is the only loud one whose door I really can’t just shut. I mean he is in his office stuttering loudly to other high ups.

Technically I don’t think I am even in a cube, since it’s three sides. Not only is it a three-sided cube, but it is also the pathway to yet another cubicle. One that I would not be surprised if it were to be determined a fire hazard when inspected by the FDNY.

Also, randomly, my office appears to be infested with gnats. I keep swatting them away and clapping them dead. I thought it was only near my cube, but I hear others complaining of the gnats in there cubes as well. Please note that the gnats are probably the best part of the ambience of the floor, the only other redeeming visual quality of the floor is the framed picture of some magazine advertisement of a dude model in some dudes cube. It’s not so much the model, as it is that this dude actually cut out a magazine ad, framed it, keeps in on display in his cube, and it’s the guy doesn’t even know the model.

I think I need more little games though. What else can I do to entertain myself at work without causing a scene? Remember I sit in a three-sided cubicle, which is a pathway to another cubicle that someone is sitting in; no one has a radio, or any kind of background noise. Just typing and annoying phone calls.

Any ideas?

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I started working again three and a half weeks ago after six and a half months of being happily self-unemployed. I truly only went back to the working world since I need to have money to live, pay rent, save for college classes in the fall, etc. It’s true that I don’t want to work. I’d much rather be doing whatever I felt like doing anytime of day, and I’m still waiting on my luck at a winning Mega Millions Jackpot. I found out why I haven’t yet won, and all the blame can be put on people praying to God that their sick loved one will get better and survive whatever it is they are going through. I’m not God, but I see where God is coming from with cherry picking of whose prayers are answered.

A book I that I received for my birthday lists my current job as being one 50 jobs worse than yours. I am a temp/consultant, whatever, and I took a long-term position that I was told was so full of excitement, good people, smart people, and lots of projects. So far I’ve been given title of “Assistant To”, with the day-to-day workings of a Go For. I have very little to do, people are pleasant, people are smart in that they have a Graduate degree from some notable University, and zero projects – only tasks.

So I’ve been here in a cubicle that has only three walls, listening for anyone that might walk by. Not many people do, and when my manager comes into the room, I can hear her walk right away. She has too many bracelets or keys in hand that make a distinct jingle sound that only she can make. I don’t get much to do work wise, and been left to try and find some type of fulfillment while I slowly rot my brain here doing nothing. If I have to be here I’d rather be busy than slow or nothing at all. Being busy doesn’t mean too much work for one to do in a single day, week, or year. Give me something that will actually stimulate my mind and I will be a semi happy employee; whether it be people watching, talking with interesting people, or actual work duties.

I’ve developed a little routine that I’ve been getting accustomed to here, I’ve been looking to splash it up a bit. I can only check CNN & gawker so much in one day, and lack of ten minute updates make the day drag on even more. My average daily water consumption while at work is reaching an all time high. This is very necessary to keep the legs moving around the office to the bathrooms, and water cooler, which alludes to me being busy. This morning after I got my second cup of water I thought I’d test my limit of how many cups of water I can drink in one day without feeling ill. It’s 12:22pm, and my count is at five, with three bathroom breaks. The slightest urge gets my fullest attention, with action.

My morning walks have gotten longer and longer. This morning I walked three avenues, then up three blocks, then stopped off and browsed inside the Container Store, which I have fallen in love with. I’m a sap for the quote unquote “girlie chick flicks” and am much more of a dork when I step foot inside a house ware type store. I sit at my desk apparently looking busy while I daydream what it would be like working in a Pottery Barn, Crate & Barrel, or Bed Bath Beyond. I even print out applications of employment to these places to help fulfill more of the fantasy of working at such a location.

I’m quite excited to find out I can access this site while at work. I am thinking the rest of my day is going to go by much quicker with reading blogs, and me trying to figure out how to get those Google ads up. If you’re reading this, and see ads up, be nice and just click it. You can X out of it right away, and it still works. Thanks.

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