This is one of the coolest news stories that I’ve …

This is one of the coolest news stories that I’ve come across in a very long time.

This morning’s train ride felt like a quick one. I had the pleasure of sitting within 10 feet of an offbeat couple. I’ve seen them on the subway for years. They get on at my stop, they look to be about in their mid to late 50s, and I’m not quite sure if they are slightly retarded, partially brain damaged, or far too intelligent to appear normal. Each morning they sit side by side reading their own copy of a daily news paper, and have a conversation with each other about what they’re reading. The husband talks slow, but very loud, especially for 7:45am. The wife speaks with a high pitch nasally voice, with a side of little child voice in her. People that aren’t usually on the train with them hear them, and then get a look of shock and awe when they turn around to see who is making way too much noise, it’s great, and it’s one of those things that I can just keep watching over and over.

Then made the transfer to the express train, where I met up with my train-riding buddy. I finally got to point out the nonexistent couple to him; they are in their late 30s. The man has salt and pepper hair, and the woman is a gorgeous tanned. Between the two of them, there is no conversation. There could be any number of reasons why they choose not to speak to one another early in the morning, but it is still a little odd. I go under the assumption that they really, really don’t like one another. I had seen the woman on the subway a bunch of times before the man. That’s not to say that the man hadn’t been there all those other times, because he could have been, but it’s hard to even tell that they are together. If I hadn’t noticed a slight touch of the elbow one morning I’m not sure I would have noticed their being together. This morning was no exception; they stood next to each other and didn’t acknowledge the existence of the other.

No David Beckham to laugh at this morning, no guy that looks like the William Hung dude from American Idol, and no clique of women that I’ve been bewildered by. This clique of women has been especially enjoyable to watch. It consists of an overweight mother about age 40, a skinny blonde mother in her mid 30s, and the loudest person on any subway in the morning, which is a thin loud mouth young one in her mid 20s – all of them are Italian-American, and are from Brooklyn, the blonde being the quietest of the three. I need to eavesdrop in on their conversations more, from what I can tell they are making fun of people they know behind their backs and have been calling the 20 something names. Each morning at some point while riding over the Manhattan Bridge the young one screams out how she would have beat the crap out of someone, it’s basically “I would have fill in the blank & then fill in another blank & then insert either a man or woman’s name here”. Whenever she states her violent act a third of the car turns around in shock, and doesn’t say a word. Overall they are enjoyable to watch & listen to in the morning.

Then, when I transferred back to the F, I sat next to a good-looking woman with the worst looking feet on display in public ever. If for instance your second toe sticks up and out straight, almost as if your toe has transformed to be a middle finger flipping the bird at someone, like this ugly footed woman’s was, wear some type of socks, and keep everything within said socks within an enclosed shoe or sneaker, please. Even though they were gross feet, I couldn’t help but keep staring at her long exposed digits, and mumble to myself “disgusting”, and “gross”; this was all going on while sitting next to a used Q-tip on the other side of me. I can only hope that someone wasn’t looking at me as if I had a foot fetish, and was getting turned on by those feet. I’m sure that there is a blog somewhere stating disgust at what how some guy was staring at gross feet. Google search?