I Shall Not Be Outed By My Lover, Therefore I Will Bare My Soul!
I’m not about to come across all Lance Bass for you guys. I need to bare the truth, that I am prepared for a blackout, an act of war against NYC, or something of horrific nature. My place is stacked with gallons of water, food, candles, flashlights, battery operated lights, among other items. This week I’ve been carrying around on my bag a flashlight, a red cap - since my newly buzzed head burns, power bars, a bottle of water, and a comfy pair of sneakers. I was seriously expecting to be caught on the subway this week, and being THAT person, who whips out a flashlight on a pitch black subway car, or platform, and hope that no one would beat me up for my flashlight.
So, yes, the rumors that you have heard are true.
Also, deeper and darker, for about a year after 9/11 I carried around with me a big bottle of water everywhere I went. It was supposed to be my getting home comfortably water, my empty bottle to fill when I needed to walk 70 miles to my sisters home upstate, or my last drops of water until my death, while trapped in an air pocket under a building that had been bombed out.
To answer your questions, yes I am neurotic. No, I was raised Roman Catholic. No, I don’t practice. Yes, I will be stingy with my water and let you fend for yourself. No, I will not eat my cat, at least not for the first month or two without food. Yes, I am sitting on a different chair while I type this in the Tony Bennett room. Yes, this chair is about 40 or 50 years old. Yes, I am still hot and sweaty.
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Somehow, I knew you’d be a stingy water-hoarding bastard. But you’re rubbing off on me. I’ve acquired my own giant bottle of water, that is carried in my giant Kittykind bag. And I, unlike you, would share, if you asked nicely.