College After 8 years of lacking a “traditional” …

College

After 8 years of lacking a “traditional” education, I needed to go back and get 30 credits in order to join the FDNY, who have since changed requirements, and I meet qualifications by having more than 6 months of full time paid work experience. Anyways, I have been attending a Colonial American through Civil War Era History class, up at Hunter College. To be quite honest, I’ve always thought of most college as being complete BS, and had no desire to go to one, EVER!

Now, after three weeks of enjoying class, and revisiting things that I already knew, and learning new things that I never picked up upon before, I find myself to be correct in that college is BS, and yet I still go. I am also learning other things, lets take a look…

1.People are most likely in fact definitely born idiots, and most likely do not become one.
2.Henry David Thoreau is full of crap. I agree with his beliefs that slavery is wrong, and that he would much rather live in places populated with people who are drones, but for the life of me, I find his writings to be even longer, and more rambling, and full of more BS than anything of my own. I read his writings, and just keep thinking, “Spit it out already! Didn’t you finish your point yet? You’re repeating yourself for an exhausting 19th time!”
3.College papers help mold the brain to want to write retarded corporate forms, which are the cause of far too much red tape.
4. Coeds are really unattractive when they feel the need to ask way to many questions and need their hand to be held in order to think their own thought on how to answer questions with writing a paper.
5. Old people can be just as creepy sitting alone in the corner of a class, as they can be when sitting alone on a park bench.
6. Teachers go to college in the summer, and are just a weird and socially awkward amongst themselves, just like when they are in the teachers’ room at schools.
7. Some coeds wear really short skirts, and you can see their ass when they walk in the halls.
8. College professors are exactly like the stereotypes show in movies.
9. The Asian kid who went to Stuyvesant High School in NYC (it’s a really prestigious school, if you never heard of it) cannot speak good English, and cannot fathom why his alma mater was named after the racist former colonial governor of New Amsterdam.
10. I can break wind as much as I wish inside a small room full of strangers with the door and windows closed, and have no one make a mention of any odor.
11. Girls from Texas are annoying with their politeness.
12. Some men are so hairy that they need to shave with a blade the back of their necks in between regular haircuts. Which is way faster hair growth and more than I have on my entire body.
13. What they say that college is a time for experimentation is true. I decided to have an experimental mustache on Saturday, and then shaved it on Sunday. Apparently my 26 year old body will have to wait until I’m 35 to grow a full mustache.
14. People in college don’t know the unwritten rule of how to ride escalators like everyone else, ride the right side and walk on the left – even though the steps are moving!
15. I am way too old inside my head to sit in a college cafeteria and eat.
16. I picked up a new move on how to get out of awkward conversations with people who just go on and on without letting you get a word in, and simply love the sound of their own voice. Simply HIGH FIVE the individual say, “thanks”, then turn around and walk away.
17. People who would normally find it gross to lay down on a public bench and sleep have no problems doing so on soft yet filthy seats in the common areas of the campus.
18. Listening to someone moan while taking what must have been a horrific dumb in the mens room while I was in it is still amusing.

Sorry can’t complete this right now, need to do the office work.