Naked Toes On The Subway This Morning

Have you seen War of the Worlds with Mr. Tom Cruise? It has these aliens that roam around Earth in pods and destroy the planets inhabitants, and the aliens have longs fingers and toes.

This morning, a beautiful young woman was riding the D train with me, and was wearing flip flops. I had the delight to see that her toes were EXTRA SUPER LONG, and when I say super long I mean grossly wrong. At first they appeared to have an extra joint in the middle of each toe, and upon further examination I concluded that this was indeed a normal joint, and that it was extra wide. The joints on her toes were nearly twice the diameter of her toes, and length wise, they were two to three inches long each. For a moment I almost began to dry heave at the sight of her feet, I muffled word to my friend Jimmy to look at her toes, as I managed to gulp down whatever it was that was trying to escape my body and land on her toes. Her toes were so long I would not doubt that SHE IS ABLE TO PEEL ORANGES WITH HER TOES.

Sometimes it’s best to cover up.