America, Help Save Our Dwarfs

When I was a little kid, I used to see a dwarf sweeping in front of a huge corner house two blocks away from the house that I grew up in Brooklyn. I had always thought that he lived there, and I would later find out that he is known as Little Jimmy.

As a teenager I saw him sweeping up in front of a limo place up on the avenue.

I thought, “he owns the limo place?”

I soon found out that he did not own the limo place, nor did he own the huge corner house.

This was one of the first disappointments life had ever offered me. Not that I hadn’t been disappointed before being a teenager, but this false sense of reality went back to the point of me being a toddler. It is up there with my realization that my balls were in fact not filled with cotton, as my father had said in his answer to my question at age 4 of what was inside my balls.

I really wanted there to be cotton in there, and I really wanted Little Jimmy to own a huge home, as well as being the proprietor of a huge limo business. The contrast of sizes would have delighted me to no end.

It turned out that he does side jobs to make a living. He sweeps up storefronts, he gets dressed up in costumes at events, - I saw him as the dwarf Uncle Sam on ESPN at this years Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest, I’m sure he does more too, and I’ve even heard that he has been in some types of porno magazines, as well as been to parties at the Playboy Mansion. These last two could just be packs of lies from the street, I don’t know.

I have no clue how old Little Jimmy actually is, but I would guess that he is about age 50, and just the other day I saw him, but he wasn’t his normal self. He wasn’t walking along the avenue, or sweeping, or dressed like Uncle Sam. No, he was riding a four-wheeled motorized scooter, the kind that old people use as a way to go about their daily life.

How could Little Jimmy actually need one of those, he’s too young!?1?

It makes me sad to think that one day I will never see Little Jimmy again.

Even though I find it sad, I wish I had made this realization about Madman Tony, who was an elderly man who smoked cigars, and used to march down the middle of the avenue holding a white flag, screaming “HILLARY CLINTON IS A MURDERER! A MURDERER!!! SHE”S BOMBS ISRAEL!!!”

The last anyone has ever heard or seen of Madman Tony was that he was being put into a straightjacket and taken away by ambulance. I didn’t see his being taken away as a possibility to life. It wasn’t fair.