The Elf Named Mikey

Have you seen the Christmas commercial from Big Lots? They have this really short dwarf named “Mikey” dressed as an elf. This alone would make me love the commercial until my eyes were to bleed, however, this “Mikey” fellow has a harsh lisp, harsh.

This isn’t one of those lisps that make you wonder, did that guy say that funny? No, no. This is the kind of lisp that the guys who were in the high school production of Annie Get Your Gun had. This is the lisp of a man who is “How you doin.”

I shall now watch and listen to this commercial until my eyes pop out of my head, until my ears fall off, and until my pantaloons are filled with pee.

Thank you God. Thank you! You give new meaning to the word LIFE with this commercial.