So sorry that I was unable to post this one up yesterday, here are my letters. I realize that none of you could sleep well last night due to my lack of posting.

Very Truly Yours,
Beehive Hairdresser

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Open Letters To People Who Will Most Likely Never Read Them…

To A Certain Woman On The V Train,

On Monday morning in the middle of rush hour you were wearing a blue pantsuit with sneakers that had skulls all over them. While I appreciate your attempt with youth, the fact that you are wearing a pantsuit will always make you too old and not nearly hip enough to get away with such a fashion mistake.

Next time, I will take a photo!

You have been warned…

Regards,
The Man Who Noticed

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To Whoever Made The Decision,

You made the decision to start running the Danny Masterson Clearasil commercials 24/7 this week. Are you trying to inform me that you know that I have fallen asleep on the couch and then went directly to bed without washing my face at night far too many times over the past three weeks? Also, I’m curious why you have decided to use that old commercial. Was it do to That 70s Show going off the air? Or, was it due to longer hair is what is in style for the youth nowadays? Hmmm?

Get back to me on that.

Regards,
Beehive

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To Radio Programmers,

You people suck the big one. Yesterday was Thanksgiving, so today you have blasted each and every station with non stop Xmas tunes. Not only that, but last week I caught you sneaking in a few Xmas songs here and there. All of you as a bunch should be ashamed of yourselves. The only people who actually enjoy putting on the radio and listening to Xmas songs are the extremely old and feeble, and since this is the case, all of those people are not sitting in their car listening to every single radio station that NYC has to offer. Those sorts of people are in places called Maple Grove, Greenwood, and Cedar Hills.

Regards,
Someone Who Never Turns On The Radio With Hopes Of Xmas Tunes Being On.