Open Letters To People That Will Most Likely Never Read Them…
by beehive on Nov.30, 2006, under Uncategorized
To A Certain Ex Girlfriend Of Mine,
Looks like today is your special day.
That’s right, a holiday just for you.
Read, learn, then go be anger or annoyed or scared or whatever it is you feel.
Yours Truly,
Just Pretend I Didn’t Just Write This & Continue Our Lack Of Communication
*************************************
To The News,
You hyped up this whole Danny Devito being drunk on the View as being hilarious, shocking, and full of craziness. This came no where near to be as hilarious, shocking, and full of craziness as Mariah Carey having a nervous meltdown live on TRL during an interview with Carson Daily.
Come back to me when that is topped, or at least is Mariah is beginning to have another one of her “momentsâ€.
Regards,
Disappointed BH
*************************************
Dear Bowflex Revolution,
Why do you tempt me so? Why must you be that highly paid ($2500) whore that I want and need, yet know that I don’t want to spend all my money in one shot.
You stand in each picture with the body language that states “I’m spread eagle for you. Take me know.â€
10 year limited warranty…I’m yours.
HUSS HUSS HUSS HUSS HUSS!
Sincerely,
The Man Whose Bank Account Will Not Want Me To Call The Next Day
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December 1st, 2006 on 1:09 pm
Meth Means Death.
– Any number of homemade anti-drug posters kids are no doubt still assigned to create approximately November of 7th grade.