To New Yorkers At Large,

I don’t know how many of you might already be abreast of the situation, but I need to tell you all that there is an apparent outbreak of some type of diarrhea in the city.

I know this to be true because last night on the R train during the evening commute I saw a pile of dried human diarrhea. Maybe it wasn’t so much a pile of diarrhea as it was the remnants of the explosive dump that someone took while sitting in between two seats on a subway car, it was dried up, yet still splattered against the floor, wall, and seats. Three fellow commuters did not even notice the scene until it was too late.

People of New York, you have been warned!

Sincerely,
Beehive

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To The Makers Of Hot Wheels Little Big Wheel,

WTF?? Seriously, WTF? You gave detailed directions on how to assemble the little big wheel and no direction whatsoever as to where all of the stickers should go. A couple of Sundays ago I took my time to carefully make sure that I put the little big wheel together properly so that my two year old nephew does not kill himself while riding it. I also went through the painstaking task of finding all of the places where the stickers should go. I am glad to say that the little big wheel that I built looks great with all but one of the stickers given to place on the sweet ride.

Where does the last sticker go? It is a cross between an “L” and a boomerang. Did your company place that “L” shape sticker in there to mock everyone that puts it together and allude to us all being a bunch of losers? I have sat, thinking long and hard at the big wheel as to where this last sticker should go and there is just no place for it to be put without it looking like a retard placed the “L” sticker on it. I watch TV & played PS2 all the while your sticker silently mocks me from my dining room table.

Please just let me know where to put it…

Thanks,
Beehive