The other day I went ahead, splurged, made the biggest purchase that I have ever made, and ordered this:

It’s a Bowflex Revolution, and in a one to two weeks it shall arrive at my place in eight boxes. Then six weeks after that I will be able to truthfully state that I have a Bowflex body. Yes, I will be that obnoxious and I honestly tell everyone that I have a Bowflex body.

I can’t wait.

I kind of want to pay it off by starting up my own pay per minute porn site featuring videos of myself.