To The Maliciously Mean,

I hope that you self esteem continues to stay in the gutter where it belongs due to your own actions.

Sincerely,
BH

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To The Jerky Boys,

What ever happened to you two? Remember your hayday when you guy had hits such as Jerky Boys, & Jerky Boys 2? I know that you guys got your cover blown up for a while there in the 1990s, but both of you have fallen off the face of the Earth when it comes to prank phone calls on cd that I would actively go out and purchase.

I think that it is about time both of you get back together, jump on the tour bus, and begin making crank calls once again.

Get on that for me, huh, or at least do it for the Egyptian magician…please.

Regards,
Boyishly Crude Phone Call Lovin Beehive

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To The Blatantly Ignorant,

Why are all of you completely ignorant about things? Especially things that are proven facts! Things that were written down during the course of history and should in theory hold up as truthful items of history i.e. countries that held land in the Americas as colonies, Jackie Chan starred in ____ movie, how to make chicken parmesan.

While ignorance is bliss, listening to ignorant people is definitely not.

In fact there is nothing sadder than eating a double cheeseburger at the McDonald’s on 51st and Broadway which is by far the coolest McD’s in history simply for its unicorn with a drooping vagina hanging on the wall (seriously it is there) while being barraged by awful facts that the loud speaker doesn’t know the first thing about, this being done in a literal way without any bit of sarcasm or remorse.

If you believe that Spain was the only country ever to own any and all the land west of the Mississippi River before it became part of the United States you should be stampeded by three herds of buffalo.

For the life of me I cannot fathom how your kind can insist that Jackie Chan had the lead role of Terminator in T2. How????

Let alone that you think you can make chicken parmesan using only fried dough and sugar. It just doesn’t work.

Don’t believe in my “myths” that I just told all of you? That what you say does not match up with actual events, which can be read about and proven correct? Go ahead and just Google any of these three items and you will find scores if not thousands of sites related to the truths behind such items. While you cannot believe everything that you read about on the internet, it would be pretty safe to double check that chicken parmesan recipe with the head chef at an Italian restaurant – I doubt he would neglect to inform you of his fried dough portion to the recipe.

Don’t you just cry poor, and say that you don’t have internet access or that you can’t afford a computer. The library (which is free) has free internet as well as just about every type of encyclopedia ever printed, ever.

Or how about you just ask anyone that has ever seen even a commercial, a poster, or even the dvd cover to T2 and find out who actually starred in it.

So, in hindsight, the next time you want to discuss American history, T2, or recipes while eating at McDonald’s do me a big favor, and don’t open your mouth until you first Google whatever it is that you want to say to your friends, make sure that what you are about to say is somewhat close to true, and then and only then state it.

Thanks.
Beehive