Paula is one lucky woman to not have much more of herself all over the news, tabloid talk shows, and television magazines such as ET/Access Hollywood these past two weeks.

While I am not going to dare say that Paula Abdul has been drunk, under the influence of some sort of illegal drug, or even abusing pain killer medications over the past few weeks while on or off TV, I am simply going to say that I noticed that Paula appears to be slurring her words…Slurring lots of her words.

Seeing as someone such as Paula Abdul would never ever touch booze, or abuse drugs whether purposely or accidentally, I will go out on a limb and say that I am worried about her mental state. Since it can’t possibly be that she is drinking 18 vodka tonics and doing three hits of meth a day that is getting her speech all slurred up, it can only be one thing…

Her body is eating her brain!

Yes, I know that this might come as a surprise to some that she has a brain, and it may be unbelievable to others, but I for one don’t see any other viable option as a legitimate answer to Paula’s strange behaviors.

My unscientific process of how I came up with the “Stomach Eating Brain Theory” leads me to believe that roughly 50 % of Paula’s brain has been eaten alive, and the eaten half is somewhere between her small and large intestines.

If things keep up on this pace we will soon begin to see Paula’s head beginning to cave in from her stomach sucking on the walls of her skull in its last ditch effort to eat all of the leftover brain crumbs.

Keep on the lookout for more of her upcoming television appearances.

Here are some videos which I believe should allow you to come to the same conclusion that I have with regards to my “Stomach Eating Brain Theory.”

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Two completely different Youtube links that have been removed from the net.

They show Paula slurring on Regis and Kelly the morning of MLK day. I saw it live, and it was scary. I hope that someone else can put these two back up.