I just posted this as a comment on Will McKinley’s blog. His blog is almost always a good read, and the comment might amuse my readers here too.

In Hawaii a friend had the room right next to mine, and he ordered a porn that he just didn’t like, and asked to swap out to a different one.

The hotel did this free of charge, only my friend didn’t enjoy what the hotel gave him next.

This went on a handful of times until the front desk was tired of knowing that my friend just couldn’t get off on the porn that the hotel was supplying, so the front desk just turned on all of the channels for his room at the price of one, and said that they couldn’t help him on the matter anymore.

Saturday morning I had the post sex thought of wondering if it was possible to write the word “blog” using only my fingers.

I’m a genius…

My really long nose hair has grown back.

Yes, it’s true, thanks to the three day weekend I found plenty of time to sit around and play with my fingers up my nose, now I can once again feel it with my finger at the tip of my nose, and play with it and feel as though it is connected to my brain.

Way cool!

More laters…

I know that I wouldn’t possibly be able to have a great weekend if I were not to write a post that shows my honest and deep desire to get to know my readers who currently reside in the great country of China.

Great to see you, my readers of China, how’s the family? Kids doing good in school? Great, that’s wonderful. So, what’s your opinion on the thought of Britney Spears growing her bush back out?

As we all know over the past few months Brit has been caught pale crotched and fully shaved by photographers numerous times as she has come and gone assumedly in various drunken states of mind, out of cheesy nightclubs clubs, all over the world.

I for one have applauded Brit’s use of razors and other types of hair removers as though she were a Jewish or Italian mother feeding a guest at the dinner table as much as the next guy, but lets all come to our senses here. There might be a day when Brit might get bored with looking down and seeing what her lips look like while flapping in the wind below her gunt, and just might decide to spice her life up in the form of letting her pubes grow back all the way, thereby allowing herself to look like some chick that costarred alongside John Holmes in the 1970s.

Where would that leave us?

In a slightly better great place, that’s where.

Not only would I not mind seeing this happen at all. For I am a man that enjoys spicing things up now and then, I’ll have you know that I ate peach yogurt today instead of strawberry yogurt. Yes, I am that flexible.

Not only would Brit’s female parts be warmer, although slightly more hidden from the paparazzi that we like to call “Uncle” around the holidays, but if Brit grew her crotch out, the world would be a better place. We would have little pieces of Brit floating through the air in which we breathe as we walk by the muffed up one, and I for one think that would be grand.

Just imagine a hot summer day, it’s 97F degrees out, with full 100% humidity, you go to the local pizzeria for a Gino’s Italian ice, you get a large rainbow flavored cup full, go about your ways, eating it as you walk along the Hudson River next to West Side Highway, when you happen to cross paths of a fully crotch haired Britney Spears that has been up for four days straight and last showered a week earlier when she was in Rio. How exciting!

First you would take note of her outfit for submittal to gawker/stalker, and then you would whip your cell phone out to take a photo, and then you’d keep going about your business pretending that nothing cool just happened while you go back to eating your Italian ice. During all of commotion in your brain, of its registering that Britney Spears is in front of you, you never noticed that three really long jet black wavy shaped pubes flew out of Brit’s crotch and landed in your Italian ice, and then you kept eating, until you got to the bottom of the cup, where you then had to bend the cup on the sides to create a good crease for all of the last bits of melted ice and three Brit pubes to slide down your throat, and you choked on them!

How cool would that be? Very cool!

It would go down as one of the best and most unbelievable stories that you would be able to drunkenly tell everyone that you ever met again in life.

Seriously, my friends in China, think about it.

Also, might I be able to interest you and your friends in the purchase of a pocket rocket, and or a bunny? Check them out over to the far right of this page. They’re good for you.

-Beehive

I am very grateful that I learned to drive by going to a four hour driving school rather than through Drivers Ed in high school. Something tells me that Drivers Ed would not have ever informed me what DWA was, unlike the four hour course. My proctor at the four hour course was an Asian man around the age of 50, and he went through the definitions of DWI, DUI, and then asked if anyone knew about DWA – Driving While Asian.

I kid you not, the man went on for nearly a half an hour about how most Asian people how absolutely no idea of how to drive safely, how Asian people are the most probable cause of most accidents, and even went on to give the main avenues of NYC’s various neighborhoods that have the highest of the Asian populations to have us check out their poor driving skills ourselves.

He even went on to say that DWA is the most dangerous kind of driver, then informed us that he and his daughter were pretty much the only two Asians that could drive safely, and then went on about how his wife, who was Asian, was one of the most unsafe drivers he’s ever seen.

Had I never heard of DWA, I most likely would have had to classify the Asian driver who stopped directly in the white lines of the crosswalk, which blocked the pathways cut through the snow, only to drive through the red light after I walked behind the car yesterday morning, as a douche bag, instead I must take a step back and say to myself, “it’s not her fault she was born Asian.”

Thank you for simplifying my life, four hour driving course instructor.