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Last night when I got home drunk, and wrote up a post that probably didn’t make sense to everyone, and this wasn’t the worst thing that happened. I’ll brief the actual night until the big screw up, and the big screw up will be another post.

The night went well, and I didn’t even nap as a warm up to it.

I got to see a bunch of people that I hadn’t seen in years, some with new fiancee’s and such.

A good portion of our crowd was drinking double fisted, literally.

I got to see one of my childhood friends out a the bar, he just happened to be there, and it was honestly the first time we ever were at a bar together, which is odd considering we grew up together, and still live in the same neighborhood.

I got to see the large crowd for the going away guy get drunker as the night progressed, and as I was leaving someone in our group had just dropped his drink all over the floor, so he went to the bar and bought two more - they were all “sex on the beach”.

Then came the drunk post.

The “Daria” person that I was writing about, was in reference to my none stop laughter at seeing this guy who I’m calling “Daria” on here to protect his identity.

See, I first meet Daria when I was 16, and he was 20. He was big into skateboarding, didn’t have a job, and spent all of his time tagging up all over the city while getting drunk and high if not skateboarding.

He even had a life plan that involved enlisting into the army or navy to play on their football team, and because he knew he was “so good” he would get drafted into he NFL, and be out of the armed services. When he found out that this wasn’t how people played for the army or navy football teams he was crushed.

This guy was a complete burnout.

He finally ended up going back to college, and he even got a steady job - as a officer in the NYPD. That’s right, Daria the burnout, is a cop!

So when he showed up last night I couldn’t contain my smiles and laughter at this. I wasn’t making fun of his, I just couldn’t get over the fact that this guy who is still on the far opposite end is being the best or the brightest, is now a cop.

It’s just funny to envision him wearing the uniform, gun in hand, and trying to respectfully contain any sort of situation.

Scene: Three armed men just robbed a bank, they are all holding hostages, they have just killed Daria’s partner, and there is no backup on the way.

Daria: Yo! (Yes, he says Yo! alot) that’s not cool, yo!

Armed Robber #1: Die copper!

Daria: Seriously, what did you do that for?

Armed Robber #1 shoots at Daria, all the bullets fly overhead, then something catches Daria’s eye. It’s an old tag of his.

Daria: Dude! (giggling) I wrote that, yo!

Anyways, Daria is now a 30 year old cop, and I really just found it to be a barrel of laughs, okay? And I figured that any typo that I had would be just as funny as picturing him apprehend a criminal.

Stupid thing post to come.

Last night when I got home drunk, and wrote up a post that probably didn’t make sense to everyone, and this wasn’t the worst thing that happened. I’ll brief the actual night until the big screw up, and the big screw up will be another post.

The night went well, and I didn’t even nap as a warm up to it.

I got to see a bunch of people that I hadn’t seen in years, some with new fiancee’s and such.

A good portion of our crowd was drinking double fisted, literally.

I got to see one of my childhood friends out a the bar, he just happened to be there, and it was honestly the first time we ever were at a bar together, which is odd considering we grew up together, and still live in the same neighborhood.

I got to see the large crowd for the going away guy get drunker as the night progressed, and as I was leaving someone in our group had just dropped his drink all over the floor, so he went to the bar and bought two more - they were all “sex on the beach”.

Then came the drunk post.

The “Daria” person that I was writing about, was in reference to my none stop laughter at seeing this guy who I’m calling “Daria” on here to protect his identity.

See, I first meet Daria when I was 16, and he was 20. He was big into skateboarding, didn’t have a job, and spent all of his time tagging up all over the city while getting drunk and high if not skateboarding.

He even had a life plan that involved enlisting into the army or navy to play on their football team, and because he knew he was “so good” he would get drafted into he NFL, and be out of the armed services. When he found out that this wasn’t how people played for the army or navy football teams he was crushed.

This guy was a complete burnout.

He finally ended up going back to college, and he even got a steady job - as a officer in the NYPD. That’s right, Daria the burnout, is a cop!

So when he showed up last night I couldn’t contain my smiles and laughter at this. I wasn’t making fun of his, I just couldn’t get over the fact that this guy who is still on the far opposite end is being the best or the brightest, is now a cop.

It’s just funny to envision him wearing the uniform, gun in hand, and trying to respectfully contain any sort of situation.

Scene: Three armed men just robbed a bank, they are all holding hostages, they have just killed Daria’s partner, and there is no backup on the way.

Daria: Yo! (Yes, he says Yo! alot) that’s not cool, yo!

Armed Robber #1: Die copper!

Daria: Seriously, what did you do that for?

Armed Robber #1 shoots at Daria, all the bullets fly overhead, then something catches Daria’s eye. It’s an old tag of his.

Daria: Dude! (giggling) I wrote that, yo!

Anyways, Daria is now a 30 year old cop, and I really just found it to be a barrel of laughs, okay? And I figured that any typo that I had would be just as funny as picturing him apprehend a criminal.

Stupid thing post to come.

Drunk blogging with the Cheese laughing behind me on the Tony Bennett Room’s loveseat. Yeup, tonight wasn’t bad at all, all the worrying for nothing. Four drinks later and I’m still up without a nap, and now, off the bed, and I’m not talking about the sleeping kind.

*Wink Wink.

P.S. I think my alcohol filled mind has spelled checked this entie post, so, if it is not, I’ll laugh about it in the morning as if is is “Daria” the male burnout NYPD cop.

I must begin by informing you that your current lack of readership is concerning me, it’s been disconcerting all week, and most of all it has been a daily disappointment. All of you have allowed your personal lives to take precedence over the reading of my little blog on even a weekly basis.

To this, I say, hogwash…HOGWASH!

You’ve become so careless that you’ve allowed Canada to out read you, and I’m pretty sure that they are just looking at pictures.

This is for you, my Canadian readers.

Due to your readership base in the China homeland declining in such a tech boom fallout I have given some serious thought to ending this weekly segment of mine that addresses the friendships that both of our countries need to build, and instead post pictures for those fine Canadians.

Here you go, Canadians.

At this point in time as much as I want to give up on all of you readers in China, I know that right now isn’t the proper time. We need each other.

Without my being here to allow both of our countries to understand one another just a little better, I fear that I would be doing a disservice to the world, and that we might not survive in a world without a mutual understanding of one another.

Canada, once again, for you.

So, China readers, ole’ buddies of mine, do us all the favor and return to the place where you’re always welcome, my blog.

China, this youtube video is for you.

Let’s be friends like these nice children.

A couple of years ago craigslist burst into my world as a place that magic could happen. It was a place that I could get just about anything I wanted, should I really really want it. It seemed as though everyone was secretly using it without ever daring admit it in public, for fear of shame being cast down upon them – it was most everyone’s dirty little secret.

Now that CL is no longer the newest thing since sliced bread and since I have a steady Cheese and we’re in an ltr, CL is completely not appealing anymore for certain things that I may or may not have used it for in the past - I’m talking tail here, folks.

Anyways, people who used CL were able to find tail at all hours of the day, and be able to make plans to meet within minutes.

I know this to be true based on this particular true-life experience.

See, my friend who I need to call “Jenny” in this read to protect her identity had two dates lined up for one weekend a couple of years ago. One was a date with a dude, and one was with a hot lipstick lesbian, both were with people that she plucked and planned with off of the glorious CL website while she was wasting time at her day job.

Her dude date was for a Saturday night, and it didn’t go well. The two of them just didn’t click; he was too awkward for her to deal with, so she ended up going home alone that night.

This didn’t seem so bad to her at the time because she was highly anticipating her Sunday afternoon date with that hot lipstick lesbian.

Doesn’t that sound good? It just rolls of the tongue - hot lipstick lesbian.

Anyways, her CL female date ended up calling her and canceling that Sunday morning.

Jenny was bummed out at the prospect of her weekend appearing as though it would end up being a bust, and she text messaged me to say how bad it sucked.

I ended up calling her up to cheer her up, and thought she should place a new add up on CL to find some new easy tail. To this, she informed me that she only had access to the internet at her day job.

I wasn’t going to allow my friends internet access situation keep her down. So, while on the phone with her, and without her knowledge I placed an ad up on CL’s “Casual Encounters” which at the time was like a bucket of horned up bunny rabbits overflowing - I imagine that it still is.

The ads title was “My Friend Jenny Needs To Get Laid!!!!”

And the content of the ad basically gave no knowledge of her as a person, other than she had one bad date the night before, had a late cancellation to her afternoon date, and well, that she really want lots of sex before the weekend was up.

After it was placed, I informed Jenny of what I had done, and was curious to see if she was game for my judgment on which anonymous person would be a good match for her. She laughed and was game for it in a heartbeat.

Within ten minutes I had over 70 emails from men, women, and couples that were very interested in Jenny.

Most people sent photos; it was this day that I realized that lots of men think that sending a pic of their manhood is a great way for them to land a date, even if the ad specifically said that I was a dude helping out my female friend.

Some of the men and couples looked promising (she was not interested in dealing with another woman that day after the late cancellation) and I emailed them back while describing them to Jenny.

Keep in mind that I did not have a photo of Jenny to show anyone, so it’s fair for me to assume that all of these people that responded were ready to have sex with a wooden chair if I placed a wig and a dress on it while calling it Jenny - I mean they were really horned up, and this gave me a weird vibe from most of them.

Then I came across a guy who didn’t send a photo, and wrote only something along the lines of “Hi, my name is John, I’m 28, and I have a 14 inch johnson.”

That was all that he wrote, and for some reason this short email without a photo seemed to speak volumes of truth to me - despite this nearly mythic touting of his having a 14-inch member.

I told Jenny about the good feeling in the hunch that I had about this 14-inch guy, and she asked for more about him. A few emails later Jenny was telling me to send him her phone number.

Within 30 seconds of sending it, I heard Jenny’s landline ringing, and she muffled her cell that had me on, this way she could keep her pre-coital conversing a mystery to me.

After nearly ten minutes of me desperately trying to hear their conversation Jenny came back on my line, she told me that the guy didn’t seem crazy, and that she had set up a date for 4PM at the Sketchers store in Times Square.

I let her get off the phone to prep for her “date”, wished her luck, and reminded her to stay safe.

The next day at work I got a thank you email from her, which informed me that she had a great time with the guy. I had to call her to get the details of her date, and see if he was telling the truth about the 14 inches.

The summation of her date to me was something along the lines of:

“He was waiting in the store for me, we walked around pretending to be looking at sneakers, and then after 20 minutes we got on the subway and went back to Queens and did lots of sexin in my bed.”

Her statement immediately left my question open, so I excitedly asked, and her response was, “I didn’t measure it, but it was huge, and I am no longer afraid of having sex with a black man, or “Macho Ralph”. Macho Ralph was a guy that she took home twice before but couldn’t go all the way with him out of fear of his huge size.

This made me shriek with laughter, and I was very happy that it all worked out for her, and it made me even more happy knowing that my intuition on a one sentence email sans photo would be a good match for my friend Jenny.