1) Getting a phone call from anyone telling you to turn on the Today Show.

2) You wake up from an announcement that the N train you have been riding is at the last stop in Coney Island, when you live off the R line.

3) There is a garbage truck picking up three tons of garbage up off the curb from the restaurant below some chicks bedroom that you had drunkenly accepted the offer into the night before.

4) A bird is sitting outside your bedroom window chirping “THREE! THREE! THREE! THREE! THREE!” none stop for ten minutes. (This one has gotten me three days in a row now.)

5) The police are knocking on your apartment door to see if the woman without identification who just beat up a woman in her 50s directly in front of the local city councilman’s office is indeed your 83-year old grandmother.

6) You awake from a massive amount of horniness building in your shorts and find yourself in an empty bed.

7) Due to his lack of memory, your other boss calls you worried because you didn’t show up to work that day, this, after you already spoke with him two hours earlier to inform him that you were “too sick” (glug glug) to go into work that day.

8) Your fat neighbor is boasting in an extremely loud fashion to his wife that he “looks so good and fit after losing only five pounds” bleeds through the walls of your bedroom.

9) Your stomach decides to tell you at 4AM that the buffalo chicken wings you ate during a few drinks seven hours earlier was not a good idea.

10) A middle aged Trinidadian woman slips a piece of paper in your mouth while asleep on the D train during an evening commute home.

11) You find that you’re in your cubicle or windowless office, and it’s only 10:45AM.

12) Your dates drunken fumbling with their bedroom doorknob awakes you in time to watch her give up on her attempts of opening the door, and then actively decides that their bedroom floor is just as good as a toilet.

13) You fall out of bed like a four year old.