BeehiveHairdresser.com

It was a warm day sometime in 2001, and we had just received our quarterly huge order from Proctor and Gamble, which meant that we had roughly 600 large boxes of t.p., tissues, and adult diapers along with various other things, spread out all over the corner in front of the store.   

Jack was on the top of the stairs sending down the cases; I was positioned in the basement at the bottom of the roller, and had Tony, the storeowner, down in the basement with me, to pass the cases to.

We were about 30 minutes into the getting the order down into the basement when I heard what sounded like a large Italian American man asking Jack for a specific type of hairspray – TRESemme Ultra Mega Hold to be exact.  Jack informed the guy that we didn’t have that type, and that we had Ultra Fine Mist, and Extra Hold hairspray from TRESemme.  This man didn’t want to take no for an answer, and asked if we could order a case that he would gladly purchase. 

Jack shouted down to Tony, asking if he could order a case of the Ultra Mega Hold hairspray for this guy, which is something that Tony would gladly do if he could, but he couldn’t, due to the fact that Tony knew that none of the wholesale order books carried that specific line anymore. 

Since we used to carry the Mega Hold, and it was no longer available in the order books Tony assumed that they didn’t make the Mega Hold anymore, and told the guy that.

Upon hearing this, the guy stuck his head down into the cellar doorway with this question:

“Hey Tony, do you watch the Sopranos on HBO?”

“No, I don’t have HBO.” Was his answer.

“Well the hairspray isn’t for me, it’s for one of the guys on the show, he’s famous, and he’s in your store right now.”

At this point in time Tony, Jack, and myself had only heard of the Sopranos, we knew that it was about the Italian Mafia, and since none of us had ever watched an episode to date, we didn’t know who was on this show. 

So we went upstairs to check out who this apparently  “famous guy” that was in the store that had previously been graced by Colin Quinn, Lorraine Bracco, and members of the Wu-Tang Clan, the Lordz of Brooklyn, among who were in the world of B and C level celebrities – side note, long ago funnyman Jim Norton had worked for the limo place across the street, he was in all the time.

I walked into the store and spotted one really Italian looking guy in the store that appeared to be the biggest Guido’s that I’ve ever seen, and I grew up in a predominantly Italian neighborhood, and have Italian cousins mind you.  I assumed that this was the guy from the Sopranos. 

His hair was slicked back, it was dyed a weird shade of brown all over, and the sides of his hairline came out like wings.  It looked as though the man could jump off of a cliff and glide safely down to land using only the hairstyle.  Despite this abnormal look, it appeared as though not a single strand of his hair was out of place. 

Had I ever seen the Sopranos prior to this day I would have known instantly that the guy was none other than Mr. Paulie Walnuts.

Paulie Walnuts and I walked outside where he went up to the owner, Tony, and shouted,

“The Mega Hold, The Mega Hold” Just like that, no full sentences or anything like that. 

Tony (the owner) informed him that he didn’t think that they made it anymore.

Walnuts then became physical, in a nonviolent manner.  As he shouted that he believes that they still made it, he pulled double duty, by lightly backhand slapping Tony’s gut and lightly touching his own head of hair, going on about how the Ultra Fine Mist and the Extra Hold weren’t strong enough for his hair.

Tony backed up a little with each backhand slap to his gut, and Walnuts kept on him. 

Tony felt very uncomfortable in that this “famous actor” was attempting to shake him down for of all things, hairspray, so he invited Walnuts and his rather large middle aged male assistant into the store to check out the order books that we had, pointed them out the TRESsemme hair products section and it left them speechless for a moment.

Walnuts immediately had that frantic look on his face that I’ve now seen a thousand times from watching the Sopranos, and said aloud something along the lines of “My hair!?!?  What am I gonna do about my hair?”

Walnuts and his assistant left the store empty handed, and disappointed.  By the time Walnuts got into the SUV to pull away just about every guidette within a two block radius was clamoring for a chance to talk to “The Paulie Walnuts” and wondered why he was in Brooklyn of all places…

Simple answers, he was born and raised in Brooklyn, and had apparently just moved two blocks away from the store, out of his “Ma’s” house, and into a luxury condo down near the water.

A couple of months later, the owner of the store, Tony, came across the TRESemme Mega Hold hairspray in the books again, and decided not to order it, Paulie Walnuts or no Paulie Walnuts.