Tony, the owner of the store let his niece Jenna start working in the store as a cashier a couple of months after I had started working there as a stock boy at the age of 16.  Jenna was a very petite young 14 year old girl who appeared to be shy, she spoke in an offbeat accent specific to the Sheepshead Bay / Coney Island area of Brooklyn, and she was lacking in the self confidence area, who just wanted to work some hours on Saturday mornings to give her some cash, and as a means of having freedoms from her very religious Roman Catholic parents.

 

From the first day when I met Jenna I never found her to be an attractive girl.  She wasn’t cute in any way shape or form; all of the employees of the store had the same thoughts.  She was and is an ugly duckling that never grew out of it, sad, but true.

 

There was absolutely never any sexual tension between the two of us, there wasn’t a brother and sister sort of bond to develop, there wasn’t even a coworker and coworker bond to develop other than a few words here and there – usually the only words were a question along the lines of “Is anyone in the bathroom?”

 

She was completely the opposite of everyone else that worked at the store, she wasn’t all horned up, she wasn’t loud, she didn’t want to booze it up, she didn’t want to slack off, she was always to herself, just so quiet, and stood up front at the register.  Quietly doing her job, when there was down time, she would quietly stand there, saying nothing, looking down at the floor, occasionally looking down the aisle to see what was going on, and she seemed okay with this, as did I.

 

The best way to describe our relationship would be, Italian bread (her) and breadcrumbs (me) we both might be on the same aisle, in the same store, and working for the same team, but we just didn’t go with one another.

 

After a couple of years of working together I still new very little about Jenna, other than she got good grades in school, was in college, and that she had developed relations with a boyfriend (Mike) over the course of the years.

 

I always was a little grossed out whenever I would think about Jenna having a boyfriend, the stock boys would wonder if Jenna and Mike did things sexually, or even kissed, and we would question each other on our thoughts in regards to this, and this always ended up with all of us being grossed out together, and laughing - especially since her boyfriend Mike was awful.

 

Mike was in essence a big doof.  He stood about 6’5” tall, he was skinny, he stuttered, he could barely walk in a fashion that would appear to be normal due to his brain never quite gaining an equilibrium, he shook hands without looking at the person, his physical look looked as though he couldn’t get laid in a whore house, and he was a jerk in many ways – which is another post completely.

 

Anyway, one Saturday morning the storeowner, Tony, had to step out to go to the post office, which left me as the person in charge - since I had been working there so long I had eventually become a manager.

 

This particular moment would be a breeze to manage, simply because the only employees at the store at 9:45AM was Jenna and I.  Jenna new everything about the store imaginable, and could handle a huge line by herself if it developed without a problem.

 

So I just stayed back, let her do her thing, which is how I like to be managed, and to be even more truthful, I was never a jerk type of a manager that got on people backs or anything like that, I just let people do there thing and did the basics - although many times I was a jerk of a human being in that store, honestly I was.  The basics being setting the alarm, locking up, z’ing out the registers, and ringing up employee discounts.

 

After about ten minutes of Jenna and I doing our own thing, I heard Jenna’s footsteps walk away from the counter, and down to the first aisle.  I stayed put in the second aisle to watch and see that nobody went behind the counter that shouldn’t, then I got distracted and when I looked back at the counter Jenna was there by herself, with many tubes of KY Jelly on the counter.

 

I walked over to her quietly to ask which customer was going to buy that many tubes of KY.  She stood there with a blank look on her face as I approached, and she asked “Could you ring me up for these?”

 

WTF???

 

Ewww…ewwww…ewww….gross.  Jenna was the one who was going to buy all that KY.

 

Remember, this was before they made KY warming lube, so all these were tubes of the thick cold KY Jelly that were sold in those white metallic tubes that looked medicinal, and everyone just knew it was sold for sexual purposes.  Even the back to the tube listed no medical reasoning for such a product, other than “to lubricate”.  FYI: they still make this stuff.

 

At the time a tube of KY was priced $1.99, and she had 21 tubes up there, so I told her to pay $35, which covered to stores cost easily.

 

Jenna immediately bagged all of her KY Jelly into dark black bags, and tied it into a knot so that not a sole would be able to see all of the KY Jelly that she was bringing home.  She excused herself to bring the bag to her car, I assumed that she did this to avoid the awkward look and maybe the accidental small conversation she might have if her Uncle Tony were to see the big bag full of KY Jelly.

 

As she walked out the door, all I could think of was “Jenna…and Mike…have buttsex…and lots of it…”

 

I didn’t want to believe my mind, and immediately began in inquest into what other logical uses they had for KY Jelly.  So I asked everyone that worked at the store if they knew of any uses for KY Jelly other than sexual, and then I made sure to inform all of them about the 21 tubes purchased by Jenna – like I said, good store manager, jerk of a human being while working at the store.

 

All we could come up with was: lube to help with insertion of enema, lube for regular sex, lube for finger banging, and lube to help get a ring off over your finger.

 

In the end I was kidding no one but myself, it was made and bought for BUTTSEX!

 

Awkward buttsex at that!

 

(Shudder)