Office Water Cooler

At 8:40AM it tastes rotten, as if the water has been slept on by some really hot and sweaty guy. 

At 9:58AM the water tastes fresher.  It has the slightest hint of a pick me up in it.

At 11:15AM the bottles have been changed a couple of times by now.  If it still has an older bottle in it, then it has the cool taste of vanilla, and if it has a newer bottle, it tastes like dust.

At 12:37PM the water tastes like the greatest thing ever intvented, by its sheer existance of being a tool to get up and away from your desk.

At 2:07PM the water tastes like a cerebral hermorrage on crack.  You’ll wondered why you came back to work after and hour and a half lunch that involved “one heck of a burrito”.

At 3:12PM the water tastes and smells like rolling hills of fresh cut grass.  It makes you want to lay face first down in a cup, sip, nap, and then repeat.

At 4:39PM this seventh cup of water makes you realize that life isn’t that bad, since you get to go home within 21 minutes time, and tastes like a great microbrew, which is just what you needed.

At 5:01PM each sip of this cup of water tastes like molten lava, due to your having to stay late at work and “be part of the team”.

At 6:43PM this water tastes like your rotting fleshy insides are being eaten alive as the water slowly goes down your throat.

Then, at 9:06PM the water tastes like your bosses private area, but this is mainly caused by the moisture of your bosses privates still being on your upper lip - why else would you be at work so late at night?