Yesterday after work I was sitting at the end of the a bench on the E train minding my own business.  Then the doors opened at 5th Ave.  A tanned woman in her early 30s walked in, stood in front of me, grabbed the bar above me, and that was all it took.

Her boob was falling out, and I saw it!  Seriously, it was practically waving hello to me.

I’m talking about full on “hey my shirt is unbuttoned to my navel and my push up bra is too big for my cup size so my nipple says hi” breast. 

The only way that it could have been more obvious was if it were to have started singing like that cartoon frog “Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gaaaaal!  Baby my hearts on fiiiiiiirrrrre!”

God Bless America.