BeehiveHairdresser.com

It’s more than official.  I have figured out the secret to getting complete strangers to do whatever you wish. 

It’s quite simple actually.  All you have to do is remember to call them Poppy, or Papi - depending on your taste for spelling.  In either case, the word is pronounced in that “Aye Papi” sort of way. 

Case in point, last night I was minding my own business playing Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories on PS2, when I heard a thud outside my front window.  Upon racing to the window to see if it was someone keeling over from a heart attack I was able to just catch the tail end of some teenager racing on a bicycle up the block laughing. 

Now the old Beehive would have raced out the front door barefoot ready to scream bloody murder at the youth (God damn kids) but the new mature and refined Beehive simply waited for the right moment, or possible just go outside and pick up the garbage can himself.  This waiting worked, as the bike rider/garbage can kickers two friends were walking up the block behind him.  I stood there pondering if they would pick up my can.  That’s when the original bike rider came riding back down and met his two friends two doors up from my window.

“Hey Poppy!”  I said sternly.

The bike riders head popped back from the stunning realization that someone just called him out on kicking over a garbage can, and the fact that he was just called “Poppy” - by a man no less.

“Yeah you Poppy.  How about that garbage can?”

“I’m Poppy?  This guy thinks I’m a Poppy?”  He said to his friends.

“Yeah Poppy you are.  You gonna pick up what you knocked over?  Huh Poppy?”

Sure enough the teenager went over and picked up the can, and as he picked it up he said loudly to his friends, “You know I’m only doing this cause he called me Poppy.  That was funny.”

I then thanked him in my usual friendly voice.

There you go.  A perfect example of using the name “Poppy” and getting results.

I implore you all to now go test this newfound findings yourselves by playing minesweeper in your cube while you wait for your boss to pass your cube.  Then when your boss passes your cube, just shout out very sternly, “Hey Poppy.  How about a raise?”

Trust me.  It’ll work all too easily.