Summertime Blues…

First off let me just remind all four of you who are reading this to help spread the word that Katie Holmes’ new “Katie Cut” should not be gotten by most women.  You can read more about my feelings on the new Katie Cut in the post below or by clicking here.

Now for this mornings post. 

For every good thing in life, there is an equal and opposite bad thing.  For the summertime in the NYC subway system the good thing is that women barely dress, and expose way too much of themselves than is properly necessary to stay cool. 

The bad thing is that women expose way too much of themselves than is properly necessary to stay cool.  It’s the double edged sword of life, and was documented briefly last summer.

This morning I was riding the D train on my way to work.  When I happened to look down I saw a pair of what just may have been the biggest woman feet around.  It wasn’t that they were abnormally long, and the toes were normal too.  It was that the gals feet were extra wide. 

My bare-feet might be roughly four inches wide, while hers were a good five or six inches wide.  I wish I was kidding on this one, and she was wearing a pair of thong flip-flops!!!

The thong flip-flops were a good inch to an inch and a half narrower than her feet.  She was standing on the D train with a hefty portion of both feet touching the dirty subway floor!

Don’t you for a second think that this gal magically floats her way to places, she had to walk to the subway scrapping her feet along some of the nastiest sidewalks around. 

I wanted so badly to just give her two empty Kleenex boxes to use as shoes in public, or at the very least put a white cloth over them as it they were a dead body, so as to not shock anyone else’s mind at the sight of her feet. 

Then when I was on the V train a “beach gal” entered.  She wasn’t going to the beach yet.  Oh no, no, no.  She had to go to work first.  So she was lugging a big overstuffed weekend bag for her trek out to the Hamptons or Jersey Shore tonight. 

The bag alone was not a bad thing at all, but the bag drew my attention towards her, and I saw that she was wearing very tiny shorts.  Normally short shorts on the subway would be a very good thing, but not in her case.  

First off, she was on her way to work, which I’m sure couldn’t have been a good thing for her today.  I’m sure that when she walked into her office lots of friendly good morning faces turned into ick faces immediately at her unsightly legs, cause this gal had skinny legs that were all out of shape and flabby - and she was in her 20s!

She had the outward appearance of a thin gal who thought she was way hotter than she ever actually was, and who didn’t think that her body needed any maintenance work.  I’m sure she also thinks that her farts don’t stink either, but that’s neither here nor there. 

Seeing her in those shorts made me invision what she would look like in a swimsuit, and oh the horrors that went through my mind.  I pictured her to be that gal on the beach who is thin, and has that extra loose bottom on while running down the beach with excess butt fabric blowing in the wind. 

Disgusting!

Word of advice to the women of the V train, if your knees are noticeably boney and your legs look like they have never ever been used, please just cover them up.