Morning Commute

I ran into Irish & Jew this morning, or maybe more appropriately, I saw Irish and Jew, and they wondered who was blabbering “Irish & Jew” at them while wielding a banana at them on the subway.

They were laughing up a storm on the moving walkway of the 23rd Ely subway station, and I was heading off to work, weaving in and out of people who walked as if they were using all of their brain capacity to do so. 

From afar I thought to myself, “Is that Irish and Jew?  It is?  Is it?  Yeup, it is.” 

Then as we got closer towards one another I’d like to say that I said hello to them as I was looking for my birthday envelopes of cash from them, but no, no indeed.  Instead I did what I normally do, which I know I shouldn’t do but usually end up doing anyways without even thinking, and got all excited about recognizing someone and started blabbering something. 

Today it was “Irish, Jew” – repeatedly. 

That’s right, I got stuck on Irish and Jew.  I know their real names, which is a rarity for me, because I’m flat out awful at remembering names, and it usually takes me at least a handful of times hanging out with someone in order to remember their actual name.  I could have easily have called them by their actual given names, but no, only Irish and Jew came out of my mouth – albeit with a smile.

So as they looked as if they thought some creepy guy with a banana was accosting them, or quite possibly a crazed banana wielding terrorist was attacking them, I continued to smile, and shout Irish & Jew – this as dozens of people that I work with were filing past us. 

They finally shouted (after a tap on Irish’s arm) ”Oh. Hi.” with a slightly confused look, and I bashfully then went into my office building making sure to not make any eye contact with anyone in my building after making such a scene… from now on I’ll forever be known as that weird guy who shouted “Irish & Jew” while scaring two innocent young women on the subway around these here office parts….