I ran into Irish & Jew this morning, or maybe more appropriately, I saw Irish and Jew, and they wondered who was blabbering “Irish & Jew” at them while wielding a banana at them on the subway.

They were laughing up a storm on the moving walkway of the 23rd Ely subway station, and I was heading off to work, weaving in and out of people who walked as if they were using all of their brain capacity to do so. 

From afar I thought to myself, “Is that Irish and Jew?  It is?  Is it?  Yeup, it is.” 

Then as we got closer towards one another I’d like to say that I said hello to them as I was looking for my birthday envelopes of cash from them, but no, no indeed.  Instead I did what I normally do, which I know I shouldn’t do but usually end up doing anyways without even thinking, and got all excited about recognizing someone and started blabbering something. 

Today it was “Irish, Jew” – repeatedly. 

That’s right, I got stuck on Irish and Jew.  I know their real names, which is a rarity for me, because I’m flat out awful at remembering names, and it usually takes me at least a handful of times hanging out with someone in order to remember their actual name.  I could have easily have called them by their actual given names, but no, only Irish and Jew came out of my mouth – albeit with a smile.

So as they looked as if they thought some creepy guy with a banana was accosting them, or quite possibly a crazed banana wielding terrorist was attacking them, I continued to smile, and shout Irish & Jew – this as dozens of people that I work with were filing past us. 

They finally shouted (after a tap on Irish’s arm) ”Oh. Hi.” with a slightly confused look, and I bashfully then went into my office building making sure to not make any eye contact with anyone in my building after making such a scene… from now on I’ll forever be known as that weird guy who shouted “Irish & Jew” while scaring two innocent young women on the subway around these here office parts….

Cheese and I went and saw Knocked Up this past Friday night.

I had heard very little about the movie beforehand, and all that I heard was nothing but good about it.  I was basically told “funnier than 40 Year Old Virgin” by a couple of people. 

Basically, everyone that I’ve spoken to since seeing this movie that has seen it themselves has spoken of their loving it, and well, I don’t know if I’m the only one here on this or not, but, I just didn’t get most of the movie.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand that the storyline is about two people drunkenly hooking up with a one night stand and a pregnancy occuring from it.  Other than that, I just didn’t get it.

There were lots of opportunities for really great jokes, and unfortunately it looked as though they went into production while needing another rewrite of the script, or having had too many rewrites. 

The last half an hour of the movie had me sitting there hoping for the movie to end already.  That never happens to me.  It just seemed as though they were trying to improvise too much of the script on the spot.  Whic would have been good if they had improv actors working in the scene, but they didn’t, and everything just didn’t seem to work out and come together comedically. 

I love Judd Apatow’s prior work, as he’s made some really great movies, let alone Freaks and Geeks, and yes ”Knocked Up” was at times funny – but watching an ape in a zoo all day can be funny at times too.

Maybe I just need to see the movie again, or a dozen more times at that to get everything, or maybe there just isn’t really much of a good movie there, and people truly all are herds of cattle liking all that they are told to like.  I don’t know.

As if you weren’t already jubilating over the fact that Paris Hilton is free once again, and that Google is backing my views on the Katie Cut, I have even more good news to report. 

This past weekend I got to do some thinking, and I have decided to grow my long nose hair out. 

Yes, yes.  I know, and you can all thank me when it gets really long. 

See, Friday night when I was in the movie theater I had my finger up there, and well, I found it again.  It being the one strand of nose hair that grows extra thick, and long. 

So far I can fairly easily pull it out of my nostril for display, but it is still much shorter than the last time it was found.  Back then I cut it way back to the root. 

Hopefully in a few weeks it will be long enough to be photographed well enough to be displayed on this very blog.

So keep your fingers crossed and hold your breath until then.

Yes, she’s free to linger on in public obscurity once again…

Non-Sarcastically & Sarcastically Speaking

She looked almost pretty walking out of jail.  It was either the cheap thrill at the thought of being with a female ex con, or the fact that she was wearing considerably less makeup and or just a different style of 5 lbs of makeup. 

The fear that has plagued us for the last 23 days of Paris Hilton photos drying up like oil wells past their prime, is now able to be thrown out the window. 

I couldn’t be happier to have woken up today to see this great news.

She was innocent this entire time, and we should never have jailed her.

I sure hope that we get to see new pictures of her, and maybe, just maybe, finally see yet another sex tape of her that would make us believe with 100% certainty that she is not good in bed.

I grew up watching professional wrestling on tv since as long as I can remember.  My grandparents were both very into watching it, especially my grandmother.  She always thought it was real, and never once believed that anything on WWF (now WWE), WCW, ECW, or any of the local Texas / Memphis wrestling shows that we watched weren’t anything but real honest to good violence of good vs. evil – and she enjoyed watching every minute of it. 

Every Saturday & Sunday mornings & evenings had shows, Sunday nights had pay per views, and Monday nights were huge for wrestling – plus in the 80s every afternoon at 4PM, ESPN used to have old Texas Von Erich / Percy Pringle taped shows from years prior.  I watched as many hours of pro wrestling as I could back then, and nowadays there is a wrestling program on just about every night of the week making it virtually impossible for me to catch it all. 

Most of the real stuff happened off camera, and when I look back over the years there always seemed to be way too much real bad things happening to too many pro wrestlers.  Many of whom died at very young ages.  

I watched all of these guys (and Woman) give up their lives.  Literally they all gave their lives up by going after their dreams of being pro wrestlers, only to die way too early in life. 

   

 Mike Von Erich

Louie Spiccoli

Eddie Gilbert – damn, he was seriously such a great wrestler, and it ‘s a shame he never made it to the heights of the WWF

Buzz Sawyer

The British Bulldog, Davey Boy Smith – I had this poster on my wall as a kid.

Crash Holly

Adrian Adonis – One of the all time great off the wall heels for the camera.

Kerry & Chris Von Erich

Chris Candido

Owen Hart – I loved watching him goof off at house shows.

Brian Pillman – I can’t believe it’s been 10 years…

and now, we can add Chris Benoit, and his wife Nancy (Kevin Sullivan’s ex wife), who used to wrestle in the WCW as Woman to the list.

Chris Benoit

Woman – the best female valet of all time.

There’s way more of a list that I just cannot get into here, but these were just some of the youngest and my most favorite ones…now all that I can do is quote The Big Lebowski with “Fuckin’ eh” and give a thanks to all of you for having given me some of the best entertainment I have had in my life.