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Check out these seed pods!!!

 

Holy crap they look flippin’ cool! 

These plants are grown in the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens, and appear as though there is no planting of them, other than spread by natural seeding in a certain shade area just before the Native Flora Garden. 

The actual flowers in the spring/summertime looked flippin’ great, and these seed pods which are only slightly smaller than whiffle balls are filled with hundreds of seeds that are covered by a white cotton type of substance for optimal wind pick up.

Way cool!!! 

I would just like to say that this post is not about making fun of fat people, it is about making fun of a gal who happens to be fat, and what she was doing in the cramped quarters of the crowded D train this morning.

She had her (lumpy and jiggly) body wrapped around the pole, making it nearly impossible for anyone else to hold it in a comfortable position, while playing a Nintendo DS game.  Particularly the game “Cooking Mama“!

At first glance, and even after watching her play the game for a good 20 minutes, the game gave all appearances as being a game that a four or five year old should be playing when they want to help their parents cook.  This game made the original NES Super Mario Brothers look like brain surgery.

Basically the game allows the player to “create” meals from scratch. 

I watched as the fat girl feverishly spun the Nintendo DS pen in circles as she dipped the pork chops in breadcrumbs, cracked eggs, and even sliced her cooked pork chops - all in timed events!

Every now and then I took a peek at this womans face to see if she was as bored playing the game as I was in watching her play the game, but no.  Nope, she was completely entralled by the game, and I happened to notice that as each of her meals got closer and closer to being fully prepared and cooked she would subconsciously lick her lips out of what I can only assume to be desired wants of eating the video game meal.

It was  great morning commute.

Some of you may have heard of a little thing called MicroSoft Excel.

Some of you might actually enjoy working with it, and feel as though it is the end all be all best way of gathering data in one place.  I for one can’t stand it. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m flippin’ amazing with my fingers on Excel, and at the same time Excel makes me want to do unkind acts by default.  Simply put, Excel is one of the few things in life that at the sight of its existence I become full of a boiling rage, and it’s not pretty, but thankfully I write the rage out and it goes away.

So some of the fours of readers here might have noticed that I’ve been crabby, nasty, and or flat out cruel sounding these past few days, and or the last week and a half.  Particularly the post that I wrote about having had my credit card information stolen and used. 

When I wrote “I hope to find you (all) one day, and when I do find you, I will first drop you like a pineapple, then I will gut you, glue your jaw to your skull, and then use your head as a soccer ball, and then when I’m done playing around with it mail it to your mother on her birthday.” 

What I meant to say was that if I find you I will force you to work forever on an endless Excel spreadsheet in a dark room.

Ladies and Gents, meet my new best friend…

I call this new best friend of mine “Blue“, and well, it’s a great friend to have around.  Blue is from Long Island, quiet, cool, smells like fresh picked blueberries, goes down smooth, and after spending a night with Blue I tend to feel drunk off of Blue.

Well…less that six months after the debut of the original Katie Cut, which has spawned thousands of women to get the courage to go to many a hairdresser that doesn’t have the same skills and expertise that the hairstylist of Katie Holmes has, and then request the Katie Cut only to end up getting a butchered version of it - there’s more good news!

According to Perez Hilton, Katie Holmes has an even newer hairstyle!!!

I personally love this new hairstyle on her one big reason, and that is all of these women across the world that have been walking around with butchered heads of hair for five and a half months are now going to go run out and get this newer version of the Katie Cut. 

Have fun being vein, ladies, and remember, shards of glass hurt, so when that becomes the “it” thing to do, don’t come crying to me.

And by all of this, I mean, DO NOT RUN OUT AND GET THIS HAIRCUT!!!  IT IS NOT FOR EVERYONE!!!