Bad Hair Subway Guy

I’ve been meaning to post this for a while, and it somehow got lost in the pending queue. 

I ride the subway with a guy who has a certain sense of poor hair fashion, that’s on top of his already naturally screwed up looking face.  I see him a couple of mornings a week, he’s most likely two years older than me based on who I’ve seen him be friendly to, and btw, he has the worst hairstyle imaginable. 

Okay, maybe the bad look has everything to do with his double crossed eyes, but maybe not.  See, he has the sides of his hair all long and heavy metal rockerish.  These long strands are bleached blonde for the first six or so inches, with the last six of so inches being his natural? color of dark brown, almost black. 

I know that this ugly coloring layer has become quite the unfortunate popular thing among trashy white people nowadays, but that’s not all that’s wrong with him.  The top of his head is most likely bald, so it’s really a bozo the clown look that is amplified by the change in color.

I say that his head is most likely bald because he drags the hair from the back of his head forward, heavily gels it, and makes it a solid dark brown cut of grass – similar to Donald Trump’s cwaf.

I would love nothing more to have a photo of the guy here for you all, but he appears to have the look of nothing to lose, and willing to fight over nothing in an instant – I don’t need that drama.  So here’s an MS Paint version of him.

It’s a sad head of hair indeed, and yes, that really is how his eyes are double crossed, and yes, he really does have the thin, heavily manicured beard on his face with a messy unmanicured goatee hanging off his chin. 

He truly is a man of mystery.