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The Cloverfield Experience

by beehive on Jan.25, 2008, under Uncategorized

I saw Cloverfield this past Saturday evening in the awful, dilapidated, low class regulars theater, btw I actually kind of love the theater with that combination. 

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Anyways, I’m not going to spoil the movie at all for you.  To be honest, I didn’t know what to expect from it, other than it was supposed to be scary, and at parts it was definitely scary.  So scary to the point that I felt it should have been an R rated movie rather than a PG-13.

I’d say go see it for the sake of seeing it, but be warned that it is shot full length on a handheld very shaky camera shot, while was definitely annoying at first, but it sort of works actually.  Overall 3 of 5 stars.

I wanted to write about the actual experience of seeing the movie being crazy. 

Cheese and I sat in the middle set of seats, at the two closest to an aisle.  As the time got closer to the start time more and more parents were bringing more and more little children to see Cloverfield.  These kids were in range of a couple of weeks to about seven or eight years old, and it was never just one kid, everyone had multiples.

When the movie began there were two seven year old girls sitting next to their mother, across the aisle, one row behind us, and then the two young girls began talking.  Not just any talking, but batshit crazy confused talking.  They had no idea what was going on in the movie and weren’t really talking, they were moreso screaming at one another. 

It wasn’t a scared scream of being scared, but screaming of of necessity to hear one another - there mother was on autopilot and tonedeaf to their devil voices. 

After a couple of minutes Cheese became THAT person and shushed them loudly. 

The girls became quiet for all of three seconds and then went back to screaming “JASON, WHAT’S GOING ON WITH JASON?  WHAT’S HAPPENING?  WHAT IS THAT?  JASON?  WHO’S JASON?” 

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“SHUT UP!  LITTLE GIRLS!  YOU NEED TO SHUT UP!”  Cheese finally snapped, while I stapled their mouths shut in my head.

This of course did nothing to them since they saw that their mother seemed perfectly fine with their screaming and ruining other peoples movie going experience. 

“JASON!  WHICH ONE IS JASON?  JASON?  JASON?  WHAT IS THAT?  WHY ARE PEOPLE RUNNING?  I CAN’T SEE IT!”

Then, I sadly hit my breaking point.  I quickly turned to them and tried shouting over the movie, “ENOUGH ALREADY, BE QUIET!”  and then I shook my finger in disapproval at them. 

They both saw me, understood that I clearly wanted them to talk softer or not at all, and then went back to screaming to one another again.

“I can’t take this, I’ll be right back.”

I stepped out into the aisle with the intent on ratting the girls out.  Yes, how sad that my life had come to this.  Then as I walked up the ramp to the door I thought about demanded my money back.  I wasn’t sure what would come out of my mouth when I saw the manager.

In this theater the manager takes the tickets, and or stands next to the ticket taker, so he wasn’t hard to fix. 

“Excuse me sir.  You gotta do me a favor here.  There’s these two little girls in there that won’t stop screaming, and are just driving me mad.”

“Who?  Where?  You point them out to me.  They won’t get away with this.”

I shit you not, that was his reaction, and it came out of all sincerity.  He wasn’t making fun of me, he was actually furious that people would talk in HIS theater while a movie was playing. 

I marched him down the aisle, and then when I got beside the two girls who were still screaming, I quietly turned to the manager, pointed with my index and middle finger to my eyes, then at the little screaming girls and sat down.

Out of the corner of my eyes I could see that the manager was saying something to the girls and to their mother.  He left, and then they were quiet for the rest of the movie. 

I have no idea what the manager said to them, but whatever it was scared the crap out of them, and they stayed quiet.  Their quiet was great!


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