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It’s been a wild ride of a rough week, and I sure as heck couldn’t wait for Coolness! time to finally arrive, wash everything away, and start things fresh.  I think we need to show some extra force this week with some bee photos…

We start with a big, fat bumble bee climbing up the stem of some sexy bee balm.

Here’s that same bee having landed atop of a bloom of a bee balm…and with the right imagination you can almost see that the bee is most likely humping the bloom.

Lastly, we have the very same bee clawing its way deep into the nectar of the bloom…

I can’t wait for late spring and early summer to get here, cause bee balm smells SOOOO good and sweet, plus watching the bees go nuts for it is pretty spectacular, and equals Total Coolness!!!

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I think that the street meat guy slipped me a mickey in my lunch yesterday.  Take a look at what I looked like when I barely came to…

This is me barely staying awake.  I had apparently just done alot of work, apparently completed it correctly, since it was all approved, and managed to do it all without my eyes truly being open and focused, or with my brain working in an alert fashion. 

Right after this shot I put my head in my left hand, particularly at my eyes.  I blocked out all the light for a minute, possibly two, and then tried everything to try and become more alert, but it was hard. 

Me thinks street meat guy has either been checking out my bum and likes what he sees, or has begun taking peeks at the banana photos that I’ve been posting and can no longer contain himself.

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While reading page 211 of my friend Janice’s new book, Have You Found Her, I read about a game that she and her friend SamÂplayed.

I’m not quite sure what the exact game was, but the question that came up was “Would you rather have to kill Winnie the Pooh, or Bambi?”

I wish that I had thought up such a question.  It’s such a double edged sword of question, that I just love it. 

There’s plenty of room to reason why you would be in such a situation that you would have to kill one of them, whether it be to save your own life, for food and water, a dare, whatever.

Winnie the Pooh?  I could never kill him.  Pooh is a mentally developed animal, he’s too lovable, soft spoken, and kind - he’s a one of a kind.  Bambi on the other hand…

Bambi’s an undeveloped and stupid baby deer, a deer that’s probably carrying around all sorts of ticks full of nasty lyme disease - plus Bambi’s one of thousands of orphaned deer, and is not special. 

So there you have it, if I’m ever put in the situation, Bambi would HAVE to go…are there any possible Pooh killers in the world?  What could possibly make someone rather kill Pooh over Bambi?  Anyone, I’d love to hear about it.

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Commenter Tracy from Pennsylvania wondered about my view of Silvercup Studios, since her favorite show “Rescue Me” is filmed there, soooo…here it is…

It’s the massive block sized building in the center there.  It’s surrounded by the on and off ramps to the 59th Street Bridge.  I worked in this here building for years before ever finding out that thebuilding pictured was in fact one of the studios of the neighborhood.  I always had envisioned the studio to be more Hollywood-like, with an outdoor backlot of sorts, but I guess since NYC itself is the best backlot, actual backlots are fairly useless in NYC.

Please, don’t get excited knowing that the Sex and the City apartment with the stairs is a block away…I have never watched the show, so I’m not sure whose building it’s supposed to be, but I just know that it’s on a historic block over….yeesh. 

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While it is technically still winter, and ice cold freezing outside today, spring is around the corner.  Check out these snowbells that I found…

Soon enough daffodils and tulips will be up as well. 

I can’t wait. 

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As some of you might have come to realize, I enjoy holding big bananas as well as taking photos posed with them.

Here I am with a nine and a half incher on the elevator at work.

For .40 cents I was able to buy it in my office building, smirk the entire time paying, and giggle while I walked from the elevator to my desk.  Hoping specifically that nobody would see the big banana in my hand, have their eyes pop out of their head, and say, “You have a huge banana!”

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After last weeks world-wind affair with the media, the crazy super signs author is receiving fan mail. 

I stopped into the discount store that I used to work at, and was immediately asked jokingly if I was involved in the “puppet” receiving all this attention, to which I sheepishly responded with, “well, kind of”. 

He’s referred to as the puppet there because without his teeth in, he kind of looks like a puppet.

Do you see the puppet in him?

Anyways, I stopped in the store that I used to work, the owner told me that the puppet was in there the initial day that he was in the papers, he stopped in the store all proud about his signs, having at least 20 copies of each paper.  My friend, the owner, said that the puppet’s since been back bragging about getting phone calls from people all over the world, and receiving fan mail from (complete idiots) based out of Florida, Maryland, and Nevada. 

Sidenote…Here’s what some local Bay Ridge people had to say about him- btw, confirming his public stuffed bra wearing by way of cross dressing on his job with the MTA.

Also, on Tuesday night I received calls informing me about camera crews outside his place - because I’m apparently the go to guy about all things Richard Martin.

Then while passing up the block yesterday morning I spotted a one man camera crew from News 12 (it’s some local Bronx news thing, I never heard of it either), setting up to film Martin’s last two signs. 

If you look behind the camera guy, you’ll notice the gated area that once held the garbage cans.  In their place is a couple of bags of garbage and wet cardboard.  We all know that the cans are inside of the building lobby, and I don’t blame people for not wanting to further stink up and or block their lobby accessibility.

Also, and this is completely random, but you see that green bench?  The city put these green benches all of the neighborhood, to give people places to sit and relax, but in my part of Bay Ridge, I only see people from the alleged drug den milling about them, sometimes nervously waiting for someone, sometimes eating filthy nasty looking things, sometimes looking like death, and other times yelling at each other. 

The benches sort of appear to be the City giving undesirables the legal place to loiter - our tax dollars at work!

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In case you forgot, it snowed last week, and since it was by far the biggest snowfall amount of the season I decided to take some pics and then forget about them.

Now that I remembered that I was going to forget about them, I have them here for the world to see.

We have downward building…

Oooooh!  Aaaaaah!

And we also have the lost pyramids of Long Island City…

Oh the humanity of snow!

And in case you couldn’t tell, my brain is flippin’ exhausted still from this…

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A couple of weeks ago I posted the worst picturesque photo possible for a view - it was all backlit.  Last week I tried to make amends by posting a better photo, specifically for commenter Tracy who lives out in Pennsylvania.

Well, Monday morning I saw the beautiful view, and decided to give it another whirl with my Treo camera.

First, the close up view…

Ooooh!  Shiny buildings…

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Now let us take a look at the view that I really see.  Showing more of the sky along with the buildings…

Trust me when I say this, it looks way cooler in person.

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Last Friday night the Mega Millions jackpot was $270 Million.  I put two dollars into a pool with 20 other people for a total of 42 chances of winning it big.

And, we won!

Six whole dollars.

Now, what might you think we should do with this six bucks of filthy good cash?  Let it ride like Jay Trotter?  Donate it to charity?  Not cash the winning ticket? 

How about this…

Split the six dollars 21 ways, so that’s roughly .28 cents per person, with the organizer receiving a couple of extra pennies due to the excess fractional cents.

This…is by far the biggest waste of gambling “winnings”, and probably the biggest reason why nobody should ever work at a bank.

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Head up everyone!

A press crew of sorts was spotted outside the Crazy Super Signs apartment building a short while ago.  Not sure who they were with, but I love the fact that he is getting NYC mainstream press coverage for being a douchebag, and I’m so very glad to have helped them out by informing them last week that he wakes up at 4PM to start his day - meaning it’s best to caught his wackiness in the evening.

I look forward to searching the papers.

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On my way back from MoMa a couple of weekends ago a group of kids got onto the D train, and began to breakdance to a boombox.  This isn’t the norm for the subway, but I’ve definitely seen it before. 

What made it so special for me, was the fact that one of the kids couldn’t have been more than five years old.  Take a look…

 

Shorty is seen here in the white shirt holding onto the pole.

The older kids were teaching him how to do his moves, the kid could spin, do head stuff, some other cool arm tricks, and his only flaw…doing the butt scratch wrong.  Apparently there’s a proper way to do the butt scratch while break dancing, and he was still green behind the ears when it came to this…who knew?

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Diablo Cody, the upper arm tattooed (which is totally hot - meow, Diablo, meow) writer and Oscar Award Winner for the film, Juno, has an awful hairstyle.

Here she is on the left. Take a look at the exaggerated version of one or possibly both forms of the Katie Cut. 

ICK!  BLEH!  POOP!

Her hairstyle, and anything of similar fashion, whether it be the Katie Cut or something else that is chop shopped long in the front and butchered in the back is the modern day female version of the mullet.

Mullet:  Business up front, party in the back.

Chop Shopped Katie Cut:  Glamorous in the front, butchered in the back.

Ladies, and more importantly hairdressers of the world, before you go out and get or give a copy of this or any other haircut, know what the original that you’re copying looks like in the back.  Knowing all sides of a hairstyle is key to cutting it properly.

And ladies, you’ll save yourself the rest of your life wondering how you could have walked around with such a lopsided lampshade of a haircut in 2007 and 2008, so please, stay away from this hairstyle.

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I’ll make it no secret that I most likely have the world’s smallest bladder, and am incapable of holding things once the seal has been broken during and after the course of a few cocktails.

Given this knowledge, what do you think happened to me one night last week? 

I left a bar, had a cupcake, and then had to release what felt like all of the water of Lake Mead from my body.

In a near frantic state of mind I was looking for just about any bathroom to get to, and I finally found one in the form of a bar on 23rd.  As I was about to walk into it and casually use the bathroom, I noticed the sign on the door, “Bathroom is for paying customers only”.  Now with me being the honest fool that I am, I couldn’t bring myself to use the bathroom without buying a beer - and since I didn’t want to drink anymore, this meant that the bathroom there was out of the question.

At a brisk pace east down 23rd I passed the bar that I had been at, and didn’t go in to use their bathroom because, well, I didn’t want to be that guy that returned to the scene of the crime (booze) who says, “forgot to use the bathroom before I left, Heh.  Heh.  Heh!”

Instead, I tried my luck at the Chelsea Hotel, I’ve done the whole pee in a lobby bathroom of a hotel before, all that you need to do is play it smooth, as if you belong, and no one asks anything. 

The problem here wasthat the lobby is set up oddly narrow, and there’s little to no distance room to look for a doorway marked ”bathroom” so when Imade the casual right passed the front desk I was totally busted by the rather quintessential New Yorker of the 1970s. 

The guy wasn’t old, maybe 40, but he sure as heck had the vibe of New York in the 1970s, by way of The French Connection, which I find to be quite odd considering that they Chelsea is home to many an artist. 

Anyways, I was ready to just to the pee and walk, which I have never done, and can’t stand seeing people doing.  It’s flippin’ disgusting, and way worse than peeing on an enclosed subway car - which itself is disgusting.

Finally, like an oasis in the middle of a desert, I saw a Starbucks, and after a solid ten minutes of searching, I found myself a bathroom, and relieved myself - moaning with delight, of course.

That’s the face of a man who knows what he enjoys, especially after a few drinks.  Thank you, Starbucks.

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After last week’s fiasco of the building superintendent who writes the crazy super signs, he’s been caught - brown handed.

Check out yet another toothless photo op…(from the Daily News)

According to today’s New York Daily News, Richard Martin was caught not picking up after his dog crapped on the sidewalk in front of his building, instead opting to toss it out into the street. 

I’ve never seen this action myself, and I can only explain it by saying this - it happened in front of his building, had it been down the block slightly, he would have left it on the sidewalk as a landmine - just the way I’ve seen him leave it so many countless times.

I’m just glad that his hypocrisy has made it into the papers, which I’m proud to say, comes based off of this here post of mine. 

After being interviewed on Friday, I chose to not want to be named in the Daily News article, out of fear of retribution - either at the hands of the concealed weapon in the form of a knife that he’s known to carry, or in the form of something worse - and I’m so very glad that my friend Danny Gili chose not to - and I’m also quite plesantly surprised that the News found Danny of all people about this.

If this Richard Marin’s local fame continues through to warmer weather, I pray to God that they get a good angle on the (presumably) stuffed bra that I’ve seen him wear.

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