This weekend I looked out my back window and found an orange cat in the backyard. I don’t think that it’s a stray, but it definitely lives in a home with careless owners who let this cat out every now and then, and those owners should be stoned or at the very least made aware of the widespread FIV population of the neighborhood stray cats.
In any case, upon first sight of this orange cat my first reaction was “Awww, a cute cat.”
And then the cat turned around and revealed that it was possessed by the devil…
Or at the very least from another planet. Just look at the way it was looking up at the sky like that. I bet it was easily looking several light years ago – and this was in the middle of the day with full sun!
I’m not going to lie, yes, I cowered like a little girl, making ever so barely audible whimpers for a couple of minutes while in the fetal position behind a couch.
Thankfully when I gained enough courage (with the help of being on the phone with my mother) and I finally ventured back to the window to see what the devil-cat was up to.
It had set it’s eyes on a neighbor two backyards down, and oh boy….I’m sorry for lacking the photos, but the horror. The devil-cat attacked, and destroyed my neighbor, rendering him D.E.A.D. – DEAD!
When the devil-cat was done eating the spleen of my neighbor the it decided that it needed to go into the cave of darkness behind the patch of iris leaves.
While I can’t prove it, I’m almost certain that the devil-cat got on some sort of intergalactic telephone system.
See, look how the devil-cat’s tail is sticking out like that….it HAS to have something to do with making intergalactic telephone calls, right?
Thankfully a tummy full of neighbor spleen tuckered the devil-cat out, he almost looks peaceful while sleeping here.
The only way that I was able to sleep in my bed on Saturday night was with three layers of plywood covering both of my bedroom windows, that and having my trusty shotgun underneath my bed.