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So I went shopping for some new warm weather clothes, and I needed to try on some shorts that appeared to confuse me in the sense that I wasn’t sure if I could pull them off, or just come across as being too tight…so into the dressing room I went.

I always find it to be so odd going into these little faux rooms with drab walls, over the top lengthy mirrors, tiny little chairs, and weird barely there doors.  I never know what to do in them.  I mean, I know that I should try things on, feel if they fit, and see how they make my body look, but in all honesty, I have no idea what I’m looking at or what I should be looking for when it comes to trying on clothes. 

So I took some photos of what I thought I should be noticing, the length of the shorts…

Where the shorts ride up when I’m bending over ever so slightly in the “Oh my God, I might crap myself” pose…

And of course, the ever important butt shot…

I’m told that I don’t have the ass of a white man, but I don’t know…I mean, sometimes I do feel like I’m Al Bundy and can’t keep my hands off of my own ass - it looks so good, but is it really over the top not the butt of a white guy?  I don’t know.

In either case, I don’t think that this pondering whether or not ones ass is that of a white guy or not is what these little rooms were conceived to be, but hey, I don’t really have a clue as to what’s going on when it comes to shopping, and as such I don’t think that I should ever be allowed into theses little dressing rooms alone ever again - and yes, please use these photos as proof that I shouldn’t be allowed to shop for clothing alone, ever again.