I’ve been a member of a specific online forums board for about six or seven years, and on the boards was a gal who went under the name “WhoringForJesus” or some other spelling of it - the point is, she was Whoring For Jesus.

whoring-for-jesus.jpg

Oddly enough back in 1999 or 2000 I wrote a sketch about a nun whoring herself out to help the needy in the name of Jesus - what are the coincidences!

Anyway, back in the middle of 2004 I had never really met WhoringForJesus in person and wasn’t sure who it was in real life.

Then one day I found myself with a couple of tall boys in me standing out on the sidewalk on Ludlow Street, and I spotted a couple of friendly faces coming toward me.  I greeted the ones that I knew a hello, and then one familiar face whom I didn’t actually know came up to me but whose face I knew and said, “Hi, I’m WhoringForJesus!”

This confused the heck out of me.  Not because I thought that WhoringForJesus would have been someone else, but more so because I wasn’t able to connect the dots right away, and just stood there confused.

“I’m WhoringForJesus!!”  She repeated.

I finally spoke - “Whaaa…?”

“I said I’m WhoringForJesus!!!”  She repeated again.

I then just stood there trying to understand the fact that someone whose face I only new but whom I had never actually spoken to decided to come up and tell that they were Whoring For Jesus - I took it as if she was telling me that she was a Jehovah’s Witness and just sort of froze there in front of her.

“FROM THE MESSAGE BOARDS!  I’M WHORINGFORJESUS ON THE BOARDS!!!”

“ooooohhhhhhhh!”

Yeah, I’m not the brightest.