Today marks the second anniversary of BeehiveHairdresser. 

We’ve come a long way from me sitting in that cube outside the office of that really mean executive who I worked for briefly before quitting due to being bored out of my mind and not wanting to get yelled at for no good reason other than simply being the person closest to her office – which by the by was the second time I was knowingly hired because of my physical appearance, seriously.

I’ve made friends and (unbelievably) enemies because of BeehiveHairdresser, as well as helped my neighborhood finally put one giant loudmouth bigoted jerk in his place - and what a ride it has been. 

Thank you all for stopping by and reading because seeing the numbers of people who stop by each day and how they grow is truly exciting.     

Scientists say that the North Pole could melt completely this summer.*

I found it interesting that the article fails to mention the fate of Santa, whether or not he knows how to swim, and where or not he has begun to train his reindeer to be in tip top flying condition – it is their off season, and reindeer are known to fatten up and be drunk most of the time.

Word on the street is that Santa has placed a distress call and has postponed Christmas for this year.

Hopefully the above rendering of what Santa will most likely look like on August 4th doesn’t end up being his true fate.

*Honestly, who calls himself a scientist?  The whole story sounds fishy to me based off of their title. 

And then there happens a conversation that shows just how lacking my coworker is in the common knowledge department.

Coworker:  Eric, can you take a look at this spreadsheet?  It looks all wrong and I think it’s out of order.

I looked and saw that all the information was where it should be and that it was sorted in date order for the previous year with January on top and December at the bottom. 

Eric:  What’s going on with it?

Coworker:  The months are all out of order.  How do I fix it?

Eric:  What months look out of order?

Coworker:  Look, six is up here and 12 is down over here. 

Eric:  Okay.  Six is for June and 12 is for December.

Coworker:  Exactly so the order is wrong.

Eric:  When do you think a year begins?

Coworker looks at me silently confused and deep in thought.

Coworker:  Is it January 1st because of New Years?

Eric:  Yes.

Coworker:  But that doesn’t have anything to do with June and December.  It’s still out of order.  How do I fix it?

Eric:  The calendar month goes January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November and lastly December.  The spreadsheet is in order.

Coworker looks even more confused about this whole month order thing actually matching up with what is already on the spreadsheet.

Coworker:  But I thought that December comes before June each year…

The fact that she is 31 years old and a high school graduate and a passer of the United States Citizenship Test is not the scariest thing about this – she is raising four kids! 

The future is doomed!

Yesterday at work I was on my way to the restroom before I headed off for better pastures.  I was a good ten feet from the bathroom door when I heard an audible pained squeal. 

“Is that coming from the restroom?”  I thought with a smile on my face, because it would be funny if I heard such a loud sound twenty feet from the stalls to a set of two doors with four feet in between then and then another ten feet past the outer door. 

I walked in the first door and heard nothing, the second, nothing, and then I got to the third sink and heard the desperate whimpering of a man in the last stall.

Based on the quick breathing I guessed that he was not in a good place. 

Have you ever watched a black belt in karate tear apart a big phone book with his bare hands?  You know how the black belt breathes fast, loud and deep?  Well that’s what I heard the entire time that I was at the urinal taking care of business – that along with the intermitant desperate shallow cries of “Oh God!”

I almost began to think that the man in the last stall wasn’t alone or perhaps he was pleasuring himself until I heard what sounded to be pure 100% liquid coming out of his behind. 

I was done and went to go wash my hands while barely being able to hold my laughter in.  While I washed my hands the guy who sits next to me entered and went to a different stall, I left with tears of laughter rolling down my face.

I NEED to know who was in that last stall…hopefully I will have answers today.