Not many people like to get wet when they are fully clothed - especially on their way to or from work.
Most people use umbrellas to keep dry and some of these umbrella users just lack any and all common sense as to where and how the use of an umbrella is appropriate.
These untimely umbrella users tend to take the subway - a lot!
Most subway staircases are built barely big enough for two adults to be on the same step at the same time - even if just in passing. This means that there is usually an up and a down side when the stairs are crowded, or else two rows of up or two rows of down.
Now when it rains most people try and use the stairs in the same manner, with exception to untimely umbrella users.
These untimely umbrella users fall into various subcategories that sometimes crossed over unto themselves: a) Stop and Block b) Wave It like you just don’t care and c) Pirate Eyes.
Stop and Block: These people will make a a point that they will not allow a single drop to hit them, especially if there is a crowd of people behind them. They will stand in the middle of the stairs, block all foot traffic and then fumble around with their umbrella until it opens. These very same people will then block traffic by fumbling around in an attempt to close their umbrella - in the middle of the stairs! They lack any and all sense of what is around them and will one day have their genes fall into Darwin’s Theory of Evolution.
Wave Its: These people will close their umbrella but not strap it closed tightly. They will then shake the loosely closed umbrella as if it is trying to attack them. This shaking shoots water onto everyone around them. Also, they will sometimes open the umbrella back up to spin it around and spray all who are around them with their water as well. These people tend to be oblivious to their annoyance, although they are sometimes people who are downright mean with malicious intent who get off at annoying others.
Pirate Eyes: These people are usually also members of the stop and block club. They do not care who is around them, all they care about is not allowing a single drop of water to touch them. They will be looking all around themselves to make sure that they remain dry and always fail to see what matters around them - the safety of others. These people will not only move their umbrellas around back and forth in a way that impedes foot traffic, but also causes people to duck out of the way fast or else face puncturing of the eyes by way of umbrella point. These people would not survive on a deserted island.
Unfortunately the only way to protect yourself and get back at the untimely umbrella user is to use your umbrella in the very same fashion to them..tastes of their own medicine…
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