978-409-5210 – Telescammer

I just got off of a telescamming call that came in from 978-409-5210, and it was by far the best experience I’ve ever had with a telescammer.

It was the original “This is your second notice about the factory warranty expiring from your vehicle” bullcrap, so naturally I pressed one to speak with a representative.

Hi!  This is Glenn are you interested in renewing your warranty?

I’m sorry I didn’t get your name.

Oh It’s Glenn.

Glenn, I’m very interested in renewing my warranty.

Okay great, let me just ask you a couple of questions.

Sure, but let me ask you a couple of questions first.

Alright.

What are you wearing?

Uhhhh…I’m not like that.

Not like what?  Just tell me, what are you wearing.

Uhhh no.  I don’t do that.

Don’t do what?

Wear.

You don’t wear?

No.

Why don’t you wear?  You should totally wear things.

Uhhhh (chuckle chuckle) I don’t do those sorts of things.

Really?  I don’t see why not.  I mean I wear things. 

Okay sir.

You probably wear things, don’t you?

Yeah, clothes.

Oh my!  Clothes!  See, was that so hard?  So tell me, what exactly are you wearing?

I really should ask you my questions.

Sure.  Just one more thing, whereabouts are you?  Huh?

Southern California.

Southern California?  If you don’t mind me asking, you sound like you have a Midwestern or Southern accent.  Are you from somewhere else originally?

Yeah Georgia.

What did you think I was asking before?

Uhhh…you know things about things that I’m not into.  (Men)

Oh sugar, you are too sweet, what is your question?

What year is your car?

It’s a 1994.  Hey, where in Southern California are you?

L.A. and I’m sorry sir, but this promotion is only for cars 1995 and newer.  You don’t qualify.

Oh come on Glenn.  Can’t you be a sweetheart and make an exception?

No, I’m sorry.

Okay then.  Just one last thing, what neighborhood are you in L.A.?

Eastern.

Oooh!  Do you have a great view?

Uhhh…(chuckle chuckle) not really.

Why?

Well, there are a lot of Mexicans around here.

Mexicans?  Really?

Yes sir, I really must go answer the phone.  I have other customers calling.

[Click]

So there we have it.  The telescammers are in East L.A., homophobes and anti-Mexican bigots – they’re a regular old xenophobic funhouse!