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Ban Fracking Billboard

We aren’t fans of fracking for natural gas.  Neither are a lot of people, more specifically, neither is the person who created this work of art beneath the High Line in Manhattan’s Meatpacking District.

Three bullet points from the above poster:

“Benzene kills brain cells”
“Run 4 ur lives we are being poisoned like rats buy Evian stock”
“How will u keep food & water clean?  It’s too late run 4 ur lives”

What irks us about the fracking boosters who march out in support of fracking, is that they say that fracking has no bad side effects when done safely.  Yet they fail to mention how terrible things become when the humans trying to frack safely screw up and poison the surrounding clean water supply — let alone how fracking safely also creates dangerous manmade earthquakes.

Governor Cuomo, please keep our water supply safe and NOT allow fracking in New York State.  Thanks!

The New York Mets And Cow Bell Man

Opening Day has arrived today for the New York Mets.  Not many people are expecting them to do well this year, yet are still clinging to hopes of a miracle.    We are just hoping that after paying money to see some games in person, after traveling all the way out to the butt end of Queens, after going through security, and after paying for overpriced food and drinks,  we won’t hear Cow Bell Man.

Cow Bell Man is a faux mascot of the New York Mets.  From what we hear, he’s a man who has a day job in the healthcare industry and has season tickets.  He also LOVES to walk around the stadium and bang a stick incessantly against a cow bell.  Henceforth, he’s come to be known as Cow Bell Man.   It seems to be a way for him to get some attention that is completely unnecessary and takes away enjoyment from the game — because when it comes down to it, a grown man banging a cow bell for hours on end is foolish and rude!!

As one might guess, we find Cow Bell Man to be ridiculously annoying.  He makes being at the stadium feel as though one is in an unregulated 1930s psychological experiment that was designed to see how many hits of a cow bell it takes before one wants to put the cow bell in concrete and then throw the cow bell into the ocean so that it can never be hit again — the same feeling occurs when watching Mets games at home on television.

So, New York Mets, you’ve done pretty well this offseason.  You did the smart thing by not resigning Reyes (who gave up in the 9th last night, how did he not even come close to getting to 2nd base on that dribbler to the pitcher when he started on 1st), you brought in the outfield walls, you turned the walls back to blue, and you managed to have your owners do the right thing and settle the Bernie Madoff thing for the correct price.   Now please, do the right thing and STOP Cow Bell Man from being a nuisance and taking away from the game.  Thanks!

The Tribune Company Taketh Away The Worst News Program In Modern History

This weekend, we learned that the CW has been temporarily removed from our satellite provider, DIRECTV.  We learned this via word of mouth, because we really don’t watch the CW too much — only the occasional morning news (big Linda Church fans) and the 11PM hour of old sitcoms are our cup of CW tea.

We aren’t going to miss either of those moments of CW, because we can get our weather from Linda Church’s Facebook feed, and other channels have old sitcoms on in the 11PM hour.

What we are going to miss is the WGN — which is an obscure network out of Chicago that we aren’t sure why we receive due to our being in New York City.  It’s so obscure in its existence that it makes the CW seem like a major network.  And the only reason why we enjoy watching the WGN is for its local Chicago news program.

WGN News at 10ET/9PM Central, you’ll be missed, if only for your irrelevant, obscure, and 3rd rate production value, that is so bad that it makes poorly thought out failed sitcoms from the 1980s and Whitney appear to be of good value. We anxiously await your return!

Our Junk Mail Dilemma

Last week, the United States Postal Service went public and said that they need more junk mail.  As it stands now, 99% of the mail that we receive is junk mail.  Junk mail is one of the bane’s of our existence.  We can’t escape it!  We get an enormous amount of unwanted magazines, credit card offers, and Scientology related junk in our mailbox — approximately several dozen pounds per year and we can’t stop it.  So we end up shredding all of that junk before placing it on the curb for recycling.

Then we have another type of junk mail delivered to our address (pictured above).  This type of junk mail isn’t even addressed to us, yet to USPS simply continues to deliver it.  We happened to have saved this type of junk mail for the past nine months or so, and it amounted to approximately two pounds of mail.   The addressee on these labels consist of the following:

  1. Resident – 23
  2. Current Resident – 10
  3. New York Neighbor – 3
  4. Current Homeowner – 2
  5. To Our Neighbors At – 1
  6. Current Occupant – 1

Now that we’ve saved it all, we don’t want to shred it.  We are taking a stand!  Plus, we don’t want to break the law – opening USPS serviced mail when it is not addressed to you is a crime –and  since the USPS needs more junk mail, we’ve decided to cross off our address and write “RETURN TO SENDER/NO SUCH ADDRESSEE” and then place it back in the blue mailbox to be returned to sender.

So USPS, we hope that you can find away to stay afloat without inconveniencing everyone living in the United States without constantly annoying and bombarding us with junk mail.  We also hope that you enjoy returning our unwanted junk mail, that was never addressed to us, and also look forward to see if any of it is redelivered to us.

We Saw Something And Said Something

We’ve been seeing the “if you see something, say something” campaign on the NYC subway for years and years now.  Up until Monday, we never once said something because we never really saw something that needed to be spoken of.


It happened as we stepped off of an uptown R train at Rector Street in the early afternoon.  As we exited the first car, we noticed a woman on the platform walking towards us with a yellow plastic bag that appeared to have a bunch of glass jars in it.  As everyone else on the platform stepped onto the train, this lady went out of her way to place the bag of jars on the platform before she then ran onto the train.

Now this might seem like a simple case of a strange person deciding to leave garbage on a subway platform, but it was also offbeat in that she went out of her way to do so.  Why would she have brought a bag of glass bottles down to the subway and through the turnstile if it was garbage?  Wouldn’t one logically have left them just about anywhere else?  Like a garbage can at home?  A garbage can in the street?  Or simply on a curb?  And why would she risk almost missing the train to place the bag neatly on the platform with only a few seconds time before the train doors close?

So there it was, a yellow plastic bag with what looked to be glass in it on the subway platform.  If the bag was an IED, the glass would act to create shrapnel once the device explodes.

As we exited the turnstile, we went up to the token booth clerk and informed him of how there was a suspicious package on the platform due to a lady having gone out of her way to leave the bag full of glass on the platform before running onto the train.  He asked what the bag looked like, and then looked at us as if we were a crazy person who had escaped from Bellevue for having brought this to his attention.

Based off of our gut feeling about the conversation with that token booth clerk, he didn’t do a thing with, or about that suspicious yellow bag.  He likely went about his day as if we were merely another person who purchased a MetroCard.  And since we haven’t heard anything in the news about an IED being found or exploding at Rector Street, the bag was merely the garbage of a weird lady who brought a full bag of glass to the subway platform to dispose of it by way of the floor of a platform.

So the point of the matter is, the “if you see something, say something” campaign should have a tagline to it that says, “so that the person who you are informing can do absolutely nothing with the potentially lifesaving information that you are providing them.”


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