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Yet Another Reason Why NYC Is A Drunk’s Paradise

As many a New Yorker knows, NYC is an almost perfect town for either an aspiring, or poseur alchy, or a full fledged alcoholic.  Bars open early, with dirt cheap prices during the day, and then they stay open late into the night until the clock strikes 4AM.  Then, barring bumping the path of a deranged person, one can fairly safely walk home drunk, hop in a taxi drunk, or take one of the many buses or subway lines drunk.

Most people know all of that already, but this is the secret that is right in front of everyone and is hardly ever realized…

With NYC not being a constant, and instead being an always ever-changing place, getting drunk in NYC over the years allows one to never leave town, yet find themself in a new town all the same thanks to the changing skylines.

This Is Your Wake Up Call

They spent nine figures building this glass tower just so that someone could put “this is your wake up call” on the windows in pinks lettering.

It could have been worse, it could have read, “this is your margin call!”

Freedom Tower February 2012

The Freedom Tower is nearly as tall as the old Twin Towers were, and is now merely another Goliath of a building in Manhattan’s skyline.

So much so, that Manhattan’s smog blurs the tower from a distance now.  Smog, yummy!

Lower Manhattan January 2012

New York City is like a Monet painting.  It’s looks good from afar, but it’s quite ugly up close.

Bella!

No Defecating, Please

Call us a typical cynical New Yorker if you must, but if human defecation is a constant problem on the street outside of your multi-million dollar apartment, then we highly doubt that those who are chronically defecating outside of your window will stop doing so because of a sign like this.

In fact, instead of helping the situation, it simply tells the public, “the wealthy people who live on Jersey Street between Crosby and Lafayette in Manhattan live in multi-million dollar apartments that are real sh!holes, thanks to a chronic human defecation problem that happens nearly all of the time, directly outside of their windows, day and night!”


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