I just got off of a telescamming call that came in from 978-409-5210, and it was by far the best experience I’ve ever had with a telescammer.

It was the original “This is your second notice about the factory warranty expiring from your vehicle” bullcrap, so naturally I pressed one to speak with a representative.

Hi!  This is Glenn are you interested in renewing your warranty?

I’m sorry I didn’t get your name.

Oh It’s Glenn.

Glenn, I’m very interested in renewing my warranty.

Okay great, let me just ask you a couple of questions.

Sure, but let me ask you a couple of questions first.

Alright.

What are you wearing?

Uhhhh…I’m not like that.

Not like what?  Just tell me, what are you wearing.

Uhhh no.  I don’t do that.

Don’t do what?

Wear.

You don’t wear?

No.

Why don’t you wear?  You should totally wear things.

Uhhhh (chuckle chuckle) I don’t do those sorts of things.

Really?  I don’t see why not.  I mean I wear things. 

Okay sir.

You probably wear things, don’t you?

Yeah, clothes.

Oh my!  Clothes!  See, was that so hard?  So tell me, what exactly are you wearing?

I really should ask you my questions.

Sure.  Just one more thing, whereabouts are you?  Huh?

Southern California.

Southern California?  If you don’t mind me asking, you sound like you have a Midwestern or Southern accent.  Are you from somewhere else originally?

Yeah Georgia.

What did you think I was asking before?

Uhhh…you know things about things that I’m not into.  (Men)

Oh sugar, you are too sweet, what is your question?

What year is your car?

It’s a 1994.  Hey, where in Southern California are you?

L.A. and I’m sorry sir, but this promotion is only for cars 1995 and newer.  You don’t qualify.

Oh come on Glenn.  Can’t you be a sweetheart and make an exception?

No, I’m sorry.

Okay then.  Just one last thing, what neighborhood are you in L.A.?

Eastern.

Oooh!  Do you have a great view?

Uhhh…(chuckle chuckle) not really.

Why?

Well, there are a lot of Mexicans around here.

Mexicans?  Really?

Yes sir, I really must go answer the phone.  I have other customers calling.

[Click]

So there we have it.  The telescammers are in East L.A., homophobes and anti-Mexican bigots – they’re a regular old xenophobic funhouse!

Wow…I just got another telescammer call this afternoon and I thankfully picked up – I highly suggest that whenever you get one of these “Your car warranty is about to expire” calls, that you just lie until the scammer people hang up.

Are you interested in renewing your car warranty?

Um yes um…yes.

Okay, what is the year of your car?

It’s a 2004.

How many miles do you have on it?

Three…I only like to drive when I’m drunk and I’m in AA, so I don’t drive too much.

(CLICK!)

I just received a telescammer call from 801-426-6627 with the standard “your vehicle warranty is about to expire”.  I naturally pressed one to try and play along with the scammer. 

What is the year of your car?

1938.

Okay, do you have a car that is a year between 1995 and 2007.

I have a 1995.

How many miles is on it?

10,000.

How many miles is really on it sir?

I don’t know I’m not sitting in the car.

Okay, we’ll get back to you with a quote.

(CLICK)

It finally happened!

As I walked into my place yesterday evening I felt my cell phone ring and found a call from 601-276-7789 buzzing in.  Since I have no idea where the 601 area code is, I picked it up assuming that it was a telescammer calling, and sure enough it was.

An automated voice was telling me that time has passed for me to save on my auto insurance, but that it wasn’t too late if I pressed two “right now”, so I did and on came a scam artist named Irene, or perhaps it was Ilene.

Besides Irene on the other end, out popped a hillbilly voice from my mouth, along with the first thoughts that came to me.

Hi, this is Irene.  Are you interested in lowering your auto insurance?

Well, GOLLLLY!  I sure am!

Okay sir, how many miles do you have on your car?

I got three.  Three whole miles.

And what is the make of your car?

It’s a Mazda.

Oooh, a Miata?

No, a Mazda.

A Mazda?

Yeup, a Mazda, just like the car.

Okay sir, you have a Mazda.  And what is the year?

It’s a 1948!

CLICK!

Irene had enough and hung up on me.  I can’t wait for them to call back again.

I received yet another voicemail from a telescammer a couple of minutes ago. 

The number calling from was 202-367-9197 and it was the most laughable telescammer call I’ve had in a while – about the fourth telescammer call in the last week.

See, the cheesy recording was in the middle when it reached my voicemail!

Apparently they figured out I don’t need a extended car warranty since they are trying to get me to obtain a 6.19% interest rate (which will expire in a couple of days) on “a credit card” – HAH!

I really need to pick up one of these days and get all the info I can from them.

REMEMBER…when some random flake like this calls never confirm or deny anything.  They could be trying to validate a stolen list of names, social security numbers, mother’s maiden names, addresses, etc – and they can do this by asking for random things that aren’t as obvious as SSN or MMN. 

Be careful!