You are currently browsing the posts tagged: Cruise

The Towel Monster

When staying in hotels, we love to have our bed made for us, but tend to be creeped out at the fact that a stranger is alone with some of our belongings.  (This stems from a family vacation as a child when a dress that belonged to our mother was stolen by the maid.)  To offset the creepy factor, we love it when a hotel will leave some chocolate, mints, or cookies out for us.  Yes, our belly is the way to being lulled by creepy McCreepsters. 

But some places don’t do the chocolate, cookies or mint thing.  Instead, they do the animals made out of towels thing.  On our recent cruise, this towel thing happened (though they initially gave us delicious cookies).  We remember having a snake, a dog (or cat), an elephant, and this… thing!

For the life of us, we couldn’t figure out what it was, and we are still perplexed by it.  Our best bet is that it was an abominable snowman.

It’s an odd little message to leave for someone after having turned down their bed for them.  It’s a passive way of saying, “Sleep tight, I was just all over your room, and in the drawers that had your underwear.  I totally just smelled your boxers cause I’m weird like that.  I can come in whenever I want to.  I’ll be watching you sleep tonight and tomorrow I’m going to use 35 towels to create a lifesize towel version of you sitting on the toilet.” 

In other words, it’s the perfect mindf*ck!

Lost In The Atlantic

We’ll be the first to admit that we are control freaks.  Particularly when it comes to our own life.  For instance, when we fly in an airplane we hold the excess portion of the seatbelt in our hands in an attempt to crush it from our total lack of control. 

That said, when we went on our first cruise, we kept checking out the GPS channel that our stateroom television had and were miffed at how off course we kept going.

When we saw this we said, “Sure hope the captain knows we’re supposed to be going to Bermuda.”

When we saw this we said, “Looks like the captain needed to see the scenic letter ‘A’ in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.  Bless his heart.  (We had picked up passive agressive Midwestern sayings by now.)”

When we saw this we said, “Seriously, didn’t anyone tell the captain that we are supposed to be sailing to Bermuda, and not a half inch past it?”

When we saw this we said, “Okay, give us some sort of fruity rum drink.  We simply cannot stand by and watch as we are sailed a half an inch past Bermuda because someone forgot to tell the captain where we were supposed to go.”

When we saw this we said, “Here we are!  It’s about time that the captain looked at this GPS channel, because he nearly missed Bermuda by half an inch!  I hope that he remembers that this channel exists when we are sailing back to New York.”

newsletter software