Opening Day has arrived today for the New York Mets.  Not many people are expecting them to do well this year, yet are still clinging to hopes of a miracle.    We are just hoping that after paying money to see some games in person, after traveling all the way out to the butt end of Queens, after going through security, and after paying for overpriced food and drinks,  we won’t hear Cow Bell Man.

Cow Bell Man is a faux mascot of the New York Mets.  From what we hear, he’s a man who has a day job in the healthcare industry and has season tickets.  He also LOVES to walk around the stadium and bang a stick incessantly against a cow bell.  Henceforth, he’s come to be known as Cow Bell Man.   It seems to be a way for him to get some attention that is completely unnecessary and takes away enjoyment from the game — because when it comes down to it, a grown man banging a cow bell for hours on end is foolish and rude!!

As one might guess, we find Cow Bell Man to be ridiculously annoying.  He makes being at the stadium feel as though one is in an unregulated 1930s psychological experiment that was designed to see how many hits of a cow bell it takes before one wants to put the cow bell in concrete and then throw the cow bell into the ocean so that it can never be hit again — the same feeling occurs when watching Mets games at home on television.

So, New York Mets, you’ve done pretty well this offseason.  You did the smart thing by not resigning Reyes (who gave up in the 9th last night, how did he not even come close to getting to 2nd base on that dribbler to the pitcher when he started on 1st), you brought in the outfield walls, you turned the walls back to blue, and you managed to have your owners do the right thing and settle the Bernie Madoff thing for the correct price.   Now please, do the right thing and STOP Cow Bell Man from being a nuisance and taking away from the game.  Thanks!