When we were younger, we took a (terrible) job at Madame Tussaud’s wax museum in Times Square. On our first day, we were given a tour that included both the public and non-public areas of the museum. While in the hair, make-up and wardrobe room, that is not open to the public, we came upon our new coworkers, who were fixing up one of the life-sized figures of Oprah Winfrey (there was more than one Oprah figure at the Times Square museum) — this particular Oprah figure was fully nude.
We were told that Oprah herself was measured before her figure was made and, because of this, her figure looked more lifelike and was made to the exact measurements of the real Oprah. The faces on the Oprah figures looked much better and more real to the person than say the J-Lo figure (that’s us on the far left and our old tool of a boss on the far right who Michael Musto called a “some unidentified twink named Brian”), who was not measured before her figure was made and whose figure doesn’t actually look like the real Jennifer Lopez.

We bring this all up because while walking through London’s Hyde Park, we came upon this tree and it instantly reminded us of that first day of work at Madame Tussaud’s. This tree instantly became “The Oprah Tree” to us. This is because the wax Oprah figure at the museum — which was made from her measurements — had rolls built into the torso, which in our memory looks pretty much exactly like this tree.
So, if you ever wanted to know what a nude Oprah Winfrey looked like ten or so years ago, just look at this tree. We hope that it satisfies your morbid curiosity.



