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If You’re Going To Mock Jennifer Lopez Do So Correctly

We found this desecrated poster of Jennifer Lopez on the 9th Street R train subway platform.  We enjoy what the tagger was going for with “Mark Anthony” (sic).

But the real joke is on the tagger, he or she couldn’t even mock Jennifer Lopez correctly.  They didn’t know enough about her to know that her soon to be ex-husband is actually named Marc Anthony.  Oh anonymous tagger, you only fooled yourself.

Accidental Modern Art On The Subway

This is the scene on the Coney Island bound F and G train platform at 4th Avenue.  Almost every day someone has been tagging something up on the construction wall, and then the next day someone from the MTA or a subcontractor has been coming around and painting over said tag.  It’s wonderful modern art!

As such, the Museum of Modern Art should buy up these three panels and install them into their permanent collection.  An anonymous collective of painters is always intriguing, plus tourist will just assume that it’s a Picasso or a Warhol.

Giant Marmaduke Rides London’s Underground

The New York City Subway System and London’s Underground are vastly different in nearly all categories.  From what we gathered, the Underground is cleaner, more reliable, more technologically advanced and far more expensive that our system is here in New York.  But one thing appeared to remain the same to us: the riders.  The riders on both sides of the pond are an eclectic mix of people who are simply trying to get from Point A to Point B in a quick and efficient manner — sometimes with giant stuffed animals.

We found our nail-biting friend riding with Marmaduke on the Tube.  He was bringing Marmaduke along as a gift for his five-year old sister — at least that’s the tale that an overly chatty, slighty crazy lady, told us after Marmaduke and friend exited the train.

The Art Of One Night Stand Dating

There’s definitely an art to dating when it comes to having of goal of a one night stand.  First, one should have low self-esteem about themselves, and secondly, one shouldn’t expect much in a partner — other than a partner will be as willingly a sad person as the seeker, and will perhaps have a loopy eye, or an ear that pops out at a 90 degree angle, you know, something odd physically so that you can laugh a sad laugh about the experience once it’s over.

We bring this up because we keep coming across these fliers on the NYC subway system from a person who has both creepy handwriting and the desire for a one night stand.

Our favorite date idea of the poster is “a cigarette meet.”  Mysterious advertiser of one night stands, if you’re reading this, we recommend that you try the old “let’s meet in Sketchers in Times Square and then go back to my place” date.  We hear that it works every time.  Or, if you’re feeling extra lucky, try the old, “let’s listen to an emergency scanner and meet up at the scene of a horrific and deadly accident” because nothing says lust like the sight of a man in uniform.

Creepiest Subway Personals Ad

We found this personal advertisement on the northernmost beam of the Manhattan bound D/N/R platform at the 36th Street subway station in Brooklyn.

“Arden” can pay that big money because he is saving his cash by not putting his ad in the back of the Village Voice, and by not paying for a shrink to help him figure out the cause behind his vile perversion.


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