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Tree Porn: Oprah Winfrey

When we were younger, we took a (terrible) job at Madame Tussaud’s wax museum in Times Square.  On our first day, we were given a tour that included both the public and non-public areas of the museum.  While in the hair, make-up and wardrobe room, that is not open to the public, we came upon our new coworkers, who were fixing up one of the life-sized figures of Oprah Winfrey (there was more than one Oprah figure at the Times Square museum) — this particular Oprah figure was fully nude.

We were told that Oprah herself was measured before her figure was made and, because of this, her figure looked more lifelike and was made to the exact measurements of the real Oprah.  The faces on the Oprah figures looked much better and more real to the person than say the J-Lo figure (that’s us on the far left and our old tool of a boss on the far right who Michael Musto called a “some unidentified twink named Brian”), who was not measured before her figure was made and whose figure doesn’t actually look like the real Jennifer Lopez.

We bring this all up because while walking through London’s Hyde Park, we came upon this tree and it instantly reminded us of that first day of work at Madame Tussaud’s.  This tree instantly became “The Oprah Tree” to us.  This is because the wax Oprah figure at the museum — which was made from her measurements — had rolls built into the torso, which in our memory looks pretty much exactly like this tree.

So, if you ever wanted to know what a nude Oprah Winfrey looked like ten or so years ago, just look at this tree.  We hope that it satisfies your morbid curiosity.

When Life Hands You A Tennis Racquet

The old saying is that when life hands you lemons, make lemonade.

Well, if life hands you an old tennis racquet, learn to squeeze your body through it and become a well paid busker.  The only way to Covent Garden is by practice!

Lady Waits For The Horniman

This is the Horniman at Hay’s.  It’s a pub and restaurant in London, directly opposite of the Tower of London.

The lady in the photo was waiting out a rainstorm, but we’d rather think of her as being someone who took the name of the restaurant seriously and was looking for a hot date — because just like politicians, sometimes, it’s just better to re-imagine the facts.

Giant Marmaduke Rides London’s Underground

The New York City Subway System and London’s Underground are vastly different in nearly all categories.  From what we gathered, the Underground is cleaner, more reliable, more technologically advanced and far more expensive that our system is here in New York.  But one thing appeared to remain the same to us: the riders.  The riders on both sides of the pond are an eclectic mix of people who are simply trying to get from Point A to Point B in a quick and efficient manner — sometimes with giant stuffed animals.

We found our nail-biting friend riding with Marmaduke on the Tube.  He was bringing Marmaduke along as a gift for his five-year old sister — at least that’s the tale that an overly chatty, slighty crazy lady, told us after Marmaduke and friend exited the train.

Peternoster Square

While climbing up to the top of London’s St. Paul’s Cathedral, we spotted this nicely shaped square down below.

It’s Peternoster Square and the rain thankfully washed away the hoards of annoying French tourists.


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