For everyone out there who celebrated St. Patrick’s Day with reckless abandon yesterday, we wish you a Happy St. Hangover’s Day!
And to the gal seen keeled over in the above photo, who we spotted vomiting up a massive puddle of booze on the Coney Island bound F train platform at Church Avenue last night, you’re our hero!
Go ahead and call us anti-establishment for not wanting to wish you a happy Paddies Day with a shamrock, or by becoming a drunken, vile, fool at a parade.
Enjoy your shamrock shake. Happy Paddies Day!
We hope that you enjoy St. Patrick’s Day today. May your day be bewildered and confused with the sights of hundreds of thousands of people being drunk to the point of major failure.
May your day be dotted with drunken redheaded fools, and suburban idiots, who speak other versions of the English language, may you witness taxi cab drivers dragging fools out of their backseat after making a mess of vomit, and may your day be free of underage kids who have skipped school to drink along 5th Avenue only to then urinate on the subway as they make their way back to either the Staten Island Ferry, Penn Station, or Grand Central.
If you need us, we’ll be sipping Diet Coke and watching the foolishness from one of the best people-watching locations around, the window seats at Rosario’s Pizza on the Lower East Side.
Last week we were suckered into buying a Shamrock Shake at McDonald’s, and by suckered, we mean had to go out of our way to find a Shamrock Shake at a McDonald’s.
After visiting four McDonald’s over the course of two days, we finally got our hands on this little green shake that is supposed to drive people insane with desire. We went, we bought, we sipped, we were disappointed at first with it, we were in lust with it several sips later, and then we finally had ourselves a belly ache.
We can now say that while we still aren’t sure how this was ever something that drove people to scour the scores of New York City McDonald’s in search of it, but we can say that we drank a green shake like a gluttonous fool until it hurt.