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Man Rings In New Year As Biggest Fool

While waiting for the ball to drop at midnight to mark the new year, we caught a man holding this sign on Carson “I’m a massive tool” Daly’s show.

times square new years 2014
You da man, buddy.  We certainly hope that you set up the DVR to capture your 15 minutes of fame by being the biggest fool of the year for that typo.  God bless.

Ricky Martin Does Evita

We loved Madonna’s take at Evita.   We loved Recolecta Cemetery, where Eva Peron is interred even more (it’s a must visit, ridiculous architecture and feral cats).  So we are very happy and excited to see that Mr. La Vita Loca himself is acting in the Broadway production of Evita.

Ricky Martin, make Madonna blush with your acting chops.  Make her know that you, and only you, are the only one who has the chutzpah to pull Evita off, on-screen or off.  We know that you have it in you, Ricky Martin, so we cannot wait to see you don a blonde wig and be the best Evita that we know that you can be.

New York’s Best Kept Secret: Bubba Gump Shrimp Company

Are you a tourist who plans on visiting New York City?  You are?  That’s great!  Allow us to help you enjoy your stay here in New York.  You’re going to want to know where the good food is, so we’ll let you in on our city’s best kept little secret… the best seafood restaurant in all of New York City is right in the downtown mecca of Manhattan — Times Square!  Once there in the heart of the downtown area, you’ll discover a world of riches in the form of Bubba Gump Shrimp Company.

It’s delish, but don’t take our word for it, let’s go to Yelp to help us out…

Gourmet G. said, “Do not pass Go, do not collect $200, and do not stop at Bubba Gump”

Charolette S. said, “I feel ashamed to even say I went here!”

Elisa K. said, “Yikes is all I gotta say.”

Cassandra B said, “I was running short on time to a play down the street and this was the nearest restaurant.”

And finally, Igal K. said it best when quoting Mama, “Mama always said not to trust haters!”

There you have it.  Go right on in and get yourself some Bubba Gump when you visit!

Tree Porn: Oprah Winfrey

When we were younger, we took a (terrible) job at Madame Tussaud’s wax museum in Times Square.  On our first day, we were given a tour that included both the public and non-public areas of the museum.  While in the hair, make-up and wardrobe room, that is not open to the public, we came upon our new coworkers, who were fixing up one of the life-sized figures of Oprah Winfrey (there was more than one Oprah figure at the Times Square museum) — this particular Oprah figure was fully nude.

We were told that Oprah herself was measured before her figure was made and, because of this, her figure looked more lifelike and was made to the exact measurements of the real Oprah.  The faces on the Oprah figures looked much better and more real to the person than say the J-Lo figure (that’s us on the far left and our old tool of a boss on the far right who Michael Musto called a “some unidentified twink named Brian”), who was not measured before her figure was made and whose figure doesn’t actually look like the real Jennifer Lopez.

We bring this all up because while walking through London’s Hyde Park, we came upon this tree and it instantly reminded us of that first day of work at Madame Tussaud’s.  This tree instantly became “The Oprah Tree” to us.  This is because the wax Oprah figure at the museum — which was made from her measurements — had rolls built into the torso, which in our memory looks pretty much exactly like this tree.

So, if you ever wanted to know what a nude Oprah Winfrey looked like ten or so years ago, just look at this tree.  We hope that it satisfies your morbid curiosity.

Our Diet Coke Advertising Conundrum

Call us fickle about Coca-Cola advertising if you must, but this is definitely the way to get us to buy a Coke.

A good old fashioned billboard in Times Square.  It’s glorious and full of beauty.  Cut us up a slice of lime and pour us a glass, please!


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